United Voice: A Manchester United Blog

What's Wrong With Football

2008-11-14T23:27:00.004-05:00

Why Chelsea fans can't make fun of us for having the boy Cristiano

"Didier Drogba has been charged with violent conduct by the FA for throwing a coin back into the crowd during Chelsea's--"

Let's just stop right there. No need to go any further. Does no one else see what's wrong with the above statement? It's a coin. I know Drogba has a helluva lot of power in those legs of his, sort a prerequisite for his job, but unless he has some sort of superhuman strength in his arms that flinging a coin into the crowd would cause any injury, let alone serious injury, to a fan I don't see how this is a legitimate issue. It shouldn't have even been addressed by the FA let alone actually brought to a decision.

I'm usually not one to vocalize protection for players as they essentially have the BEST LIFE EVER. Add to that that I'm actually defending a Chelsea player, I'll admit I feel a little dirty. But in this case I think the fans are getting too much leeway. How is it that Drogba gets charged but the Burnley fans don't get charged for throwing the coin in the first place? It's not like Drogba pulled a quarter, or I guess in this case a half-pence, out of his jock and threw it at the crowd. It was thrown at him in the first place and the Burnley fans should be reprimanded for their behavior. I know people always talk about giving more respect to the fans and believe me you're preaching to the choir, I'm a fan, but when it comes to abuse--be it physical or verbal--a line needs to be drawn in the sand and certain behavior needs to be flagged as unacceptable and thus properly punished.

Throwing a coin is really no different than hurling racial abuse at players. Pampered as they are they don't deserve such abuse just as fans don't deserve racial abuse or coins thrown at them. I'm not saying that Drogba shouldn't be reprimanded to some extent but I'm saying it needs to go both ways. If you're gonna charge Drogba with violent conduct then you have to charge Burnley with disorderly conduct and give them an equivalent punishment.

Ok I'm done, It's a Friday night I'm gonna get off my proverbial soapbox and get a little loose. I'm a bit buzzed as it is. Good talk.

*Addendum: This should not be misconstrued as any form of favor towards Chelsea. They're still a bunch of diving, cheating, overpaid, overrated, overly-metrosexual, overly-not fresh at all bunch of fucking amateurs that will again finish below the mighty United both in the league and in Europe.

And we'll win the Carling Cup just for kicks. Recognize.

Oh No. Oh God, No.

2008-11-07T17:49:00.003-05:00

We elected a West Ham fan to be the next President of the United States of America? Fuck. Now I can't nearly make fun of West Ham fans as effectively as I used to. Yea we took their best players, we win titles, we don't have a nearly bankrupt Icelandic owner..blahblahblah they have the next President on their side. I voted for a West Ham fan and that will forever weigh on my conscience. At least McCain is an Arizona Cardinals fan and y'know I really respected that.

Flashback: Zizou, Boss of all Bosses

2008-10-28T14:58:00.005-04:00

I just finished watching 2006 World Cup: The Grand Finale, an HD documentary extravaganza chronicling the 2006 World Cup from the quarterfinals through to that fateful final kick from Fabio Grosso. Point is it made me remember how absurdly genius Zinedine Zidane was throughout that tournament at the ripe old age of 34 and how unfair it is that many people only remember his headbutt on that scummy Marco Materazzi above all the other brilliant plays he made. Let's not even get into the sordid details of Materazzi's career and how really Zidane did what every single player who's ever played against Materazzi has always wanted to do but has never had the guts to do. And Zizou did it in a WORLD CUP FINAL. What a boss.

Anyway, yea, let's not get into that. The purpose of this post is help us all remember the utterly unapologetic brilliance of the Balded One. Specifically, his other take-your-breath-away moment of that game:

What? He chipped a penalty? In a World Cup Final? Wait...what? Didn't doubt his shot for a second, cool as a cucumber. You can't see me right now but trust that I'm giving this youtube video a standing ovation in the privacy of my own living room. I raise my glass of pomegranate green tea in cheers to you, Zizou. Really wish you would come play in the MLS...

Deaf Boxer Stalker: A PR Masterstroke

2008-09-23T23:41:00.008-04:00

Forgotten pretty boy

Head over to the ladies of Kickette and invariably there will be mention of one of Los Merengues in an inappropriately lustful manner. Methinks Madrid midfielder (impressive alliteration, I know) Goldilocks Guti (good god, I can't stop) is a little miffed at being overshadowed by his teammates off as well as on the field. It's one thing when you spend years carefully sculpting your midfield maestro pretty boy image only for Real Madrid to go out and buy David Beckham and render you completely useless in the prime of your career. Or the completely incorrect jump in logic that follows such an injustice and makes you believe you missed out on being a part of the Euro 2008-winning Spanish side when in actuality you were really never gonna make the cut, Beckham or no Beckham.

But having to stomach the likes of Iker Casillas and Raul strutting about the locker room with a confidence borne of the adulation of thousands of fawning female fans (it's a gift, really); I imagine the indignity was just unbearable. So naturally he enlisted the PR talents of one Jorge Munoz, deaf boxer stalker extraordinaire, to up his visibility enough to maybe get some well-deserved recognition for his services to club and conditioner companies.

"Munoz was eventually restrained and arrested while one of the security guards required hospital treatment - Munoz's lack of hearing obviously not impairing his ability to land a punch."

Iker Casillas, your move.

*Actual focused and serious post about the state of United affairs coming soon

Pre-VMA/VMA Running Diary

2008-09-07T20:29:00.003-04:00

Such a love/hate relationship with this god-forsaken yet simultaneously heaven-sent channel. Such a love relationship with writing running diaries of cultural events.

I'm still on the fence about this Sway in a chopper gimmick. On the one hand it's immensely stupid. It gives me a headache just trying to wrap my mind around the the fact that this idea was actually voiced by someone let alone looked upon as a good idea by his/her peers. But on the other hand the creepy factor of Sway hovering above celebrities like Katy Perry and calling them on the phone and telling to wave their lipstick out the sunroof is too good.

Mind-blowing fact of the night: Sway has a daughter.

Jonas Brothers are so jewish-looking.

ASHLEE SIMPSON IS SO PREGNANT.

I wish Obama would show up.

British host whose name continually evades me: "Kobe Bryant welcome to the VMAs!...(to Vanessa Bryant) hello to you as well."

Annnnd that's the pre-show.

The VMAs have started and it's too brilliant of a trainwreck for me to write on any further. God speed.

Summer Transfer & Non-Transfer News

2008-08-13T01:19:00.005-04:00

With the start of the new season nearly upon us I've decided this is a good time to recap the transfer news of summer that is soon winding to a close.

Hmm let's start with the good news first because there's not much of it so we'll get it out of the way quickly:

Well we held on to Ronaldo which, as much as he still is a little cunt, is a good thing because he is as close to irreplaceable as you'll get in football. Still, nothing he does this season, no matter how heroic or jaw-droppingly incredible, will illicit any more than a gentle golf clap out of me. Until he fucks off to Madrid at the end of the season. Then I'll give him a standing ovation. Ok what else...oh right we didn't sell Frazier Campbell like we usually do with any young promising talent that tries to make it into the first team. That was a pleasant surprise. I hope he gets a chance to prove himself this season because he's definitely quality.

Ok, seriously, how am I supposed to cheer for this?

Yup. That's it. No more good news to report for the summer of wheelings and non-dealings. Now the bad news in quick bullet points because there's so much:

- Sold Gerard Pique, soon-to-be one of the top 10 defenders in the world. Haven't bought any replacements so no defensive cover to speak of. Wonderful.
- Didn't sell Mikael Silvestre as expected so technically he is our defensive cover. Even better.
- Didn't buy a long-term right-back replacement for the aging Gary Neville. Apparently Sir Alex expects Wes Brown to make another deal with the devil and have another surprisingly competent season.
- According to the latest reports today, we bought Dimi Berbatov to finally address our need for another striker. 'But why is this bad news?' I hear you inquire. Well, little ones, gather round close and let me tell you a little tale I like to call: The Extortion of Manchester United...

Once upon a time (about a month ago) Manchester United bid a reasonable 20 million pounds for the services of Dimi Berbatov. Dimi's employers, Tottenham, rejected the bid and asked for a ludicrous 38 million pounds instead. United laughed heartily at such a suggestion and began looking elsewhere. After a month or so they could not find another striker to buy and desperately bid a slightly less ludicrous but still ridiculous 28 million for Dimi. Tottenham gleefully accepted. United got fucked over. Now to put this in perspective:

- Liverpool paid 3 million less for Fernando Torres who is 4 years younger than 27 year old Berbatov and about 5 times better, give or take.
- Liverpool also paid 20 million for Berbatov's teammate, Robbie Keane, of similar age and talent.
- United paid the same amount for Rio Ferdinand but he's been the rock of our defense for the past 5 years so I'd say it's money well spent.
- United paid the same amount for WAYNE ROONEY. 20 years old at the time and ABOUT 10 TIMES BETTER THAN BERBATOV, give or take.

I'm not amused.

A Strange Thing Happened Today

2008-07-18T15:24:00.001-04:00

I picked up the July issue of Sports Illustrated with the headline "Nadal Defeats Federer In the Greatest Match Ever." I read it again..greatest match ever..and two thoughts came to mind that have never previously come to mind when I've picked up any other issue of Sports Illustrated:

1. "Spot on!"
2. "Wow, that's not at all an exaggerated sensationalist headline to sell more copies of a sub-par sports magazine living off the repuation of the one swimsuit issue every year that actually has some quality."

Buhshit, Buhshit, Buhshit

2008-07-05T16:15:00.007-04:00

Harry Kewell revealed Galatasaray were the pick of several clubs interested in him after signing a two-year deal with the Turkish champions.

The Australian had been linked with Portsmouth, Celtic and Roma, but Kewell admitted Galatasaray quickly won him over.

Oh that's right, Galatasaray is clearly a better option than staying in the best league in the world with Portsmouth or going to one of the most successful clubs in European history in Celtic and let's not even mention that little club from that little town called Rome in that boot-shaped country.

Now don't get me wrong, Galatasaray are no slouches and they've had their fair share of success both in Turkey and in Europe. And Turkey is a great place from what I hear what with their grape leaves and passionate bordering on psychotic fan support (if you have the time, fascinating piece). But don't anyone for one second try and convince me that the Turkish league is on par with the English or Italian leagues or a club of so grand a stature as Celtic. It's just not.

And lest we forget Mr. Kewell played for Leeds for 9 years, during that time playing against Galatasaray in a match that was overshadowed by the tragic stabbing to death of two Leeds fans by Galatasaray hooligans. Leeds fans still haven't forgotten about the tragedy to this day but I guess for Harry a big pile of stinking cash can make you forget just about anything.

Here's Harry in his favored position (interpret that how you wish)

Enough of the bullshit, the Turks were the only team that wanted to take a chance on your glass legs and take on your ludicrous salary demands because the silver lining of the depressing realization that you're a has-been at 29 is that some people with money to burn and seats to fill actually remember you used to be a decent player (despite your worst efforts of the past 5 seasons) and are willing to roll the dice on the slight chance that you might rediscover that form. Suckers. I can't even fathom how many kebabs you're going to stuff your face with on an $80,000/week salary.

Asinine Quote Of The Day: Jens Lehmann

2008-07-02T15:35:00.006-04:00

Torres beats Lehmann to give Spain the title

FOX Sports: Germany goalkeeper Jens Lehmann has told Fernando Torres he is still not as good as Thierry Henry at his best, but could get there in time.

"I played in the same team as Thierry Henry, who was like a god," said the 38-year-old shot-stopper.

"There is still a difference. Torres could get there, but it takes a while."

That's right, Jens, there is a difference. Torres has actually scored in the final of a major tournament. You remember, don't you? He did it against you, after all. Thierry Henry, on the other hand, has never scored in the final of a major tournament despite playing in the World Cup final in 98', the Euro final in 2000 and the Champions League final in 2004. As for deity status, Torres was a sort of baby Jesus at Atletico Madrid and after 24 goals in his first season he's already achieved cult hero status amongst the Liverpool supporters. So you're right, Torres is not as good as Henry at his best. He's better.

**UPDATE**
I just read over this weeks after I originally posted it and I must admit I was a bit out of line. Torres is not better than Henry at his best because Henry at his best is the best player English football has ever seen. It's still an asinine thing for Lehmann to say because it's unfair to compare a soon-to-be great player to one who's already great. Obviously Torres at 24 is not better than Henry in his prime of 28-29, you ponce. He's just sour grapes about that peach of a goal Torres scored in the final so I had to call him out for it. One thing you can do is compare Torres now to Henry at the same age and when you do that Torres is better so there suck on that, Jens.

Viva Espana! And Other Bits And Bobs

2008-07-02T14:34:00.009-04:00

It's been too long, dear friends. I guess I'll start with tipping my hat to the Spaniards, newly-crowned champions of Europe. When you think about the Italians in 2006 and the luck they had in beating Australia early on and a French team that outplayed them in the final or the way Greece grinded out boring 1-0 win after 1-0 win on the way to glory in 2004, it was nice to see this Spanish team dominate from start to finish and overpower each of their opponents through flowing, attacking, beautiful football. Sheer class. Fully deserved. This could very well be the start of a dynasty.

On a sidenote two players who impressed me immensely were Spanish right-back Sergio Ramos and Dutch midfielder Wesley Sneijder. Incidentally they both play for a certain Real Madrid who has been making bedroom eyes at that little cunt of ours, Cristiano Ronaldo. Speaking of that prick, let me take this opportunity to get this off my chest:

This is from the heart: Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro, you're a cunt. You're a selfish, arrogant, diving, greedy, self-absorbed, shameless, conniving, treacherous, childish, petulant, ungrateful, hooker-hiring, mullet-having, man-purse-carrying, cunt. Now fuck off.

Back to my point, since the fucking cunt (hereafter TFC) has expressed his desire to leave for Real Madrid I say let TFC fuck off to Spain as long as United get Sergio Ramos and Sneijder in return. At 22, Sergio Ramos is the ideal long-term replacement for an aging Gary Neville and the left-footed Sneijder can fit in on either wing as well as the heart of the midfield. Nani should be much improved in his 2nd season and if we sign a goalscoring striker like Berbatov or Klaas Jan Huntelaar to fill the 40 goal void I truly don't think we'll miss him. I don't even want any additional cash compensation . I just never want to see TFC in a United jersey ever again.

So let's recap: Hats off to Spain, worthy victors. Cristiano Ronaldo, fuck off. Hi, Sergio Ramos and Wesley Sneijder, cmover?

My WAG XI

2008-06-17T19:06:00.005-04:00

She's my favy

Nobody really cares about the games tomorrow. We're all just waiting for Portugal vs. Germany on Thursday so here's something to hold you over til' then and boost my page hits a whole lot.

Pretty simple idea, WAGs play the corresponding position of their significant other.

GK Alena Seredova - She's just regal, isn't she? Former Miss Czech Republic, also my aformentioned favy.

LB Cheryl Cole - You know what I always say, if she's good enough for one of the Jonas Brothers she's good enough for me. Ms. Tweedy-Cole brings some major musical "talent" to the table with her tremendously successful Britpop girl group and her little cameo in Will.i.am's catchy "Heartbreaker." And she's a good wholesome norn' english Geordie girl. Her only downside is she's married to a stupid fucking cunt.

Gotta have a girl who seems attainable to the average male, sort of the Lindsay Lohan of the squad. With that I introduce to you...

CB Aida Yespica - Now let's not mince words, she's a big ol' slut, and god bless her for it. Any girl who goes from Italian striker Pippo Inzaghi to Italian defender Matteo Ferrari (omg interracial!) to Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is A-OK in my book.

RB Imogen Thomas - Used to date Reading defender Ibrahim Sonko (why? I'm not sure) so she qualifies for the right back position. I'm also a sucker for dimpled Welshmen. She's like a less hairy Ryan Giggs aka perfect.

RM Victoria Beckham - Can't think of anyone more worthy of captaining my WAG XI. Before her the WAG didn't even exist. She single-handedly starts fashion trends. Her tits (what augmentation?) make her look like those fem-bots from Austin Powers and they could probably poke my eyes out but I'm drawn to them nonetheless. And she was really funny on that Coming to America NBC special, personality is a refreshing quality to find in a WAG. Basically, she's an incredible woman.

CM Sylvie van der Vaart - The hottest woman alive. Seriously. I saw but a glimpse of her in the stands at the France-Holland game and she is, without lighting or photoshop or a particularly flattering angle, the most stunningly beautiful woman alive. K now that we're on the same page, moving on...

CM Noemie Lenoir- At 28 she brings some much-needed experience to this squad and some essential full-frontal nudity (note the tattoo location, brilliant stuff). And as the arm candy of pitbull Claude Makelele she brings some steel and man-eating prowess to an admittedly lightweight midfield. If you're wondering how a mug like Makelele gets a nubian princess like Naomi, might I direct your attention to his impressive abdomen.

LM Oksana Andersson - Gotta have a Swede if you're making a list of best WAGs. Well she's Russian-born, actually, thus the Oksana. But the Andersson is a dead giveaway that she's the product of free health care and ABBA. Just what do they put in those meatballs?

CAM Ilary Blasi - Wifey of Francesco Totti. Perhaps the crown jewel of this team with those soul-piercing eyes and that unmercifully sexy name of hers. And the gratuitous nudity doesn't hurt, either.

ST Gemma Atkinson - Ok you're probably thinking there are two problems here:
1. She's a former WAG as she is Cristiano's ex-gf and
2. Cristiano is not a striker.

But I'm one step ahead of you:
1. She's not a former WAG because she's currently dating Marcus Bent who, contrary to popular belief and career statistics, is a professional footballer, and
2. Marcus Bent is a striker. Also, she has really nice surgically-enhanced breasts so I think she's earned her place.

ST Belen Rodriguez - Gotta have an Argentine. Like Sylvie she's been a dutiful and supportive WAG of the sport that has made her famous, making a cameo in the stands of Euro 2008 during the Italy-France game. Looks absolutely stunning in HD.

Best Nickname of Euro 2008: Nikopolidis

2008-06-10T17:06:00.006-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the Greek George Clooney.

Euro 08': Pretenders & Contenders

2008-06-10T14:08:00.006-04:00

Yes all the teams have played one game each. Yes I realize I predictions are traditionally made before a tournament starts. But you can't honestly expect me to make any semblance of a correct prediction before the tournament even starts, I'm no Nastrodamus. That being said it's still gonna be tough to guess this one right. Halfway through the last World Cup people were pegging the German hosts, the Argentines who mauled Serbia 6-0 and an impressive Iberian peninsula as the favorites. France looked just plain woeful and Italy barely squeezed past Australia in the first knockout round but they both ended up in the finals. Go figure.

So anyway let's run the rule over the 16 and seperate the pretenders from the contenders, alphabetically:

Austria: Co-hosts so I have a soft spot for them but they can't avoid the tag of pretenders. Simply don't have enough quality across the board, probably the weakest team in the tournament. Valiant defensive effort vs Croatia but they still ended up on the losing end and it won't get easier against Poland or Germany.

Croatia: An enigma of a team. Sometimes they can look so dangerous and other times just stale. Good enough to finish 2nd in the group but will bow out in the quarterfinals.

Czech Republic: Don't have the offensive quality they've had in past tournaments and were fortunate to beat a poor Swiss side. They won't make it out of the group stages, losing to a hungrier Turkish side in the deciding final group game.

France: Deja vu of their slow start to their last World Cup run. The difference is now they don't have Zidane to inspire them. At risk of them proving me wrong again I'm gonna label them pretenders because despite their solid defense, Thierry Henry is a shadow of his former self and thus they don't have the finishing touch up front to be considered a contender. But they'll still get out of the group ahead of Italy and Romania. Maybe.

Germany: Definite contenders. Ballack is in the type of form that helped carry Germany to the 2002 World Cup final. Klose and Podolski are two of the most potent offensive threats in the entire tournament and they've got a strong and physical lineup from top to bottom. Goalkeeper Jens Lehmann could be their Achille's heel, wasn't even good enough to start for his club team. I say they lose to Portugal in the semi-finals. There isn't a German that can stop the likes of Joao Moutinho, Quaresma and Deco, let alone that selfish prick of a best player in the world who shall remain unnamed.

Greece: Pretenders. This team needs to get out of this tournament ASAP. They are reigning champions of Europe but they are also a gratingly-boring, defensive-minded, leg-hacking scourge upon the world of football that systematically kills any and all joy a fan might get from watching them play. Sweden finally picked the lock to their defense and as a result we won't see them advance past the group stages, thankfully.

Italy: I guess I can't call the reigning world champions pretenders but they definitely aren't contenders. Simply put, they got rolled on by the Netherlands. They are too old, too poorly coached, and too disjointed and uninspired to get far in this tournament. That being said, they'll probably squeeze a win vs Romania and play for the draw vs France to get 2nd place in the group. Then they'll get rolled on by Spain in the quarterfinals.

Netherlands (Holland): Contenders and in my mind favorites to win it all. They absolutely dismantled and defending world champions. They scored 3 great goals against an Italian team that let up 2 goals throughout their entire run to the World Cup two years ago. Their only weakness could be an unheralded defense but if they can hold it together back there they've also got arguably the best 'keeper in the tournament, midfield steel in Engelaar and de Jong complemented perfectly by creative attackers van der Vaart and Sneijder and led by one of the most reliable and prolific strikers of his time in van Nistelrooy. They'll beat Sweden in the quarterfinal, though not easily, blow by a defensively undisciplined Spanish side in the semi-finals and take out Portugal in the final like they should have 2 years ago. Total football has returned to Holland.

Poland: Plucky bunch of guys, I really feel for em'. Can't call em' pretenders because they play too hard to be stuck with such a tag, but they won't beat Croatia so they won't make it past the group stages.

Portugal: Definite contenders. Probably the most fun team to watch in the tournament and they win games to boot. They Ooze with flair and attacking ability from just about every position, even central defender Pepe has shown he has an eye for goal. They'll beat Croatia in the quarterfinal and might have to go to extra time or penalties to beat Germany in the semi-finals. With the best player in the world in their ranks they can never be counted out but I think Holland will match their speed and one-up them in the final thanks to superior finishing up front.

Romania: Ah these boys hold a special place in my heart. They hold in their ranks a certain Adrian Mutu so despite their atrocious yellow jerseys I always root for em'. Doesn't mean they'll make it out of the "Group of Death" ahead of Italy or Holland. But hey the draw vs France is still something you can hang your hat on.

Russia: Uhh..k I'll be honest, they all have names that end in -ov or -chenko or something ridiculous with a lot of consonants. I can't recognize a single player on that team. They've got some fight in em I guess but any team that lets up 4 goals can't possibly expect to make it out of their group. And they won't.

Spain: Goodness they are fun to watch. Their technical ability is unparalleled and they have hands down the best forward partnership in the tournament with David Villa and Fernando Torres. And I know I said before that Holland's van der Sar is arguably the best 'keeper in the tournament but I take that back now, Casillas is the best in the tournament, unarguably. Still, I'm not convinced by their defense. They're undisciplined and lack focus at times which will cost them against a predatory finisher like van Nistelrooy.

Sweden: Will finish 2nd in the group behind Spain and lose in the quarterfinals to a superior Holland side. That being said if there is one chance of a major upset its Sweden over Holland. So I guess this is a quasi-upset special but not really because I have faith in the Oranje.

Switzerland: Co-hosts so I'm rooting for them. They won't make it out of the group but I think they'll give at least one of the host nations something to cheer about when they pull the minor upset vs Turkey, even without their injured captain/all-time leading goalscorer.

Turkey: Baklava and kebabs aside, I'm just not feeling the Turks. They lack a distinct identity, another sort of enigma of a team that has talent in its ranks but just can't pull it together. Which is why they'll be the victim of my actual upset special when they fall to the Swiss.

So, to recap:
Group winners Portugal, Germany, Netherlands, and Spain will advance to the semi-finals and proceed to beat the hell out of each other. When the dust has settled Netherlands will be top of the pile with coach Marco van Basten, the man who hoisted the trophy as a player 20 years ago, lifting it once again to the delight of the Dutch. Golden Boot (top goalscorer) winner will be Ruud van Nistelrooy. Player of the tournament will be Wesley Sneijder. Or maybe selfish man purse wearing Portuguese prick who shall remain unnamed, can't count that guy out he's not half-bad. Now disregard everything I just said, I'm no Nastrodamus.

Megalomaniac

2008-06-02T17:18:00.008-04:00

Not just an Incubus song, kids. By definition, one who suffers from delusions of grandeur.

Exhibit A: Robinho

The Brazilian nino has just "revealed" that United have a proposal:

"There are proposals, yes. One is from Manchester United which would be in exchange for Cristiano Ronaldo and the other is from Chelsea."

Of course by revealed he really means fabricated out of thin air to make it seem like he's even remotely come close to fulfilling the potential he had 5 years ago which saw him dubbed "the next Pele" by none other than Pele himself. Truth is he hasn't. In 3 seasons with Real Madrid he's chalked up a paltry 35 goals in 131 appearances. To put that into perspective, Ronaldo scored 42 goals this season alone in just 48 games. And he's better looking. And he has hooker orgies. Sorry nino, can't win this one.

Something To Pass The Time

2008-05-25T23:31:00.005-04:00

The dust has settled on the absolutely incredible beyond description magical night in Moscow. Manchester United are champions of Europe and don't think it's fully settled in. It probably only will when next season rolls around and the commentator casually remarks "Manchester United, reigning champions of Europe, looking to start the season on the..." and a smile crawls across my face as I share that wonderful little moment with no one else but myself.

Anyway it's 13 days between now and the start of the European Championships in Austria & Switzerland so here's a little something to hold you over until we can see Cristiano and the boys doing it big in Portuguese maroon (yes I've adopted them as my team in lieu of England's absence); his unofficial top 5 free kicks of his remarkable season complete with awful techno music (also helps me forget about that penalty miss):

CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE

2008-05-21T17:50:00.005-04:00

Champions League Final Preview

2008-05-21T13:44:00.003-04:00

Because I'll be too much of a nervous wreck during the game to live blog and too drunk/ecstatic/depressed/furious/at a loss for words depending on the result to blog after.

Don't expect a prediction, I'm definitely not daft enough to do that and tempt the football gods.

In fact, fuck it, I'm too much of a nervous wreck right now to give a preview. I'll just ask that you all cheer on the Red Devils like I will be like a raving lunatic in the comfort of my own home.

OMG OMFG LESS THAN AN HOUR TIL KICKOFF!!

This post hasn't been much of a preview, more a way to expend nervous energy. For all your CL Final needs including a Live Blog, a drinking game, and previews and predictions abound head on over to the fine people at The Offside.

Anyway I'm off to watch the pre-game. C'MONNNNN UNNNNIIIIITTTEEEEDDD

**ESPN First Take Segway: "The..uh..UEFA Champion Final coming up right now" Can't make this stuff up.

Are You Ready?

2008-05-20T15:25:00.004-04:00

(Credit to Kickette)

I'M SO FUCKING READY AHKSHDBIUBFIDHDHFK

I've also got a little hop in my step today at the expense of Cashley.

Why Do People Insist Jermaine Jenas Is Quality?

2008-05-18T01:51:00.004-04:00

HE'S NOT.

He's dreadful, in fact. Sure he's got raw talent but so does Kwame Brown. The difference between Kwame Brown and Andrew Bynum is that Andrew Bynum has actually developed his talent into tangible skill. Andrew Bynum also has a discernible basketball IQ. Jermaine Jenas is talented, sure, but his football IQ is negative. I just finished watching the Tottenham-Liverpool game from last week and though he shows flashes of promise overall he's ABSOLUTELY DREADFUL. SERIOUSLY. HE'S REALLY BAD. HOW IS HE ON THE ENGLAND NATIONAL TEAM?

Aaron Ramsey: One For The Future

2008-05-16T12:08:00.008-04:00

Haven't seen much of this kid play but by the way he's been setting the rumor mills abuzz he can't be half-bad. The Cardiff City midfielder is only a wee 17 year old but he's starting for his club in the FA Cup final on Saturday. Dizzying heights for just his first season of consistent playing time. In his few appearances he's apparently already attracted the admiring eyes of United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool with Sir Alex Ferguson even putting in an official inquiry recently as to his availability. Everton offered 1 million pounds earlier in the season but Cardiff scoffed at such an inadequate estimate of their starlet.

The latest rumor is that Cardiff have already agreed to sell young Ramsey to Manchester United for a fee of around 5 million pounds and the deal will be announced after the final on Saturday. Ferguson reportedly sees him as a long-term successor to Paul Scholes. He already seems to have the right attitude to replace Scholesy. About the recent rumors Ramsey said, "The media stories don’t affect me whatsoever. Obviously I hear about it, I just don’t take any notice." He also said in a recent interview that he was more nervous about his final exams this time last year than he is about the upcoming final. He should fit right in at Old Trafford. Ramsey cites fellow Welshman Ryan Giggs as his all-time hero (surefire sign he's coming to United) so if that's any indication of things to come then 5 million should turn out to be a shrewd investment for another 20 years of Welsh wizardry.

**Quick aside, while looking for an image to post I google-imaged him and came across Aaron Ramsey's profile on some Welsh social networking site. It's good for a laugh. Let's just say he isn't the sharpest spike in the cleat. My personal favorite:

Scared Of: "nuthin im hard as nais.hmm wel sum say i am but i wouldnt like to cum that close to tarantulars if thats how u spell it."

I'll update this space after I actually see him play on Saturday. Then I'll mitigate or exaggerate my comments above as needed.

**UPDATE: Came on as a substitute during the FA Cup final and played the final half-hour. No need to mitigate or exaggerate, he's exactly what I thought he was, a 17 year old with a lot to learn but absolutely oozing with talent.

My Starting XI

2008-05-03T18:36:00.014-04:00

I didn't include any players from the top 4 clubs (Wes Brown excluded) because if I did the entire team would be made up of top 4 players and that's no fun. Also if I really could make a starting XI of Premier League players this is the team I would pick, no jk. A team of United, Chelsea, Arsenal, and Liverpool superstars would be a disastrous ego clash of epic proportions. Kind of like the championship-winning Lakers of the 80's that featured a starting 5 of four #1 draft picks. But reversies.

Not a single one of these players need my verbal backing to validate their place in the team of the season. Their play on the field speaks for themselves but I'll still sprinkle a bit of well-deserved praise upon them.

Goalkeeper: Tim Howard - Everton
A few years on after a disappointing spell at United, Howard has cut the nonsense out of his game to become one of the most reliable keepers for one of the stingiest defenses in England. Also he was probably the deciding factor between Everton and Aston Villa in the race for 5th place. I mean have you seen Scott Carson?

Right Back: Glen Johnson - Portsmouth
Like Howard, Johnson is another reject from a big club who's finally come good on his potential. He's enjoyed by far the best season of his career as a vital cog in the Portsmouth rearguard. Despite his penchant for committing the oddest of crimes, I'm sure Chelsea would love to have him back and put the 16 million pounds they just spent on Portuguese right back Jose Bosingwa to better use. (16 MILLION?? For a right back? Fucking jokers)

Center Back: Joleon Lescott - Everton
He has an unusually large and odd-shaped head that's helped him score 8 goals this season, mostly off headers, which is not a bad haul for a defender. He's marshaled the aformentioned Everton defense brilliantly throughout the season and has been the one mainstay in a revolving door of a back four. And he has a gnarly scar on his forehead which is great for intimidation purposes. What more can be said about him? He's got the makings of an England legend.

Center Back: Wes Brown - Manchester United
Yes I know he plays for one of the big 4 but let's not kid ourselves, if Gary Neville hadn't been injured all season young Wesley wouldn't have had a sniff of playing time. That being said, Wes has shaken my beliefs to the core this season by consistently putting in one competent performance after another. Previous to this season the last two words I would've associated with Wes Brown are consistent and competent. It's like my retarded son suddenly isn't retarded anymore. I mean I'm happy, but it's just weird. He must be on steroids.

Left Back: Nicky Shorey - Reading
You may think it bit daft of me to put in a defender who played for one of the worst defenses in the league, letting up a whooping 66 goals, on a team that was so bad they're not allowed back next year (they were relegated). Well it's not daft if he tallies up 10 assists and 3 goals, especially on such a bad team. Plus he completes my all-English defense.

Right Midfield: David Bentley - Blackburn
The other DB of similar Kickette fame (for the ladies) and free kick abilities (for the boys) makes it into the squad after a breakout year scoring 6 goals and dishing 10 assists to help Blackburn to a very respectable 7th place finish. Like ya boy Becks, the other David should be a mainstay for the England squad for years to come and, if he plays his cards right, he could also land a fat MLS contract when he hits his mid-30's. He's clearly destined for pastures greener than any Blackburn can offer. And there probably isn't much pop star wife material in Lancashire, either.

Center Midfield: Gareth Barry - Aston Villa
If I had to pick a captain for this team, Gareth Barry would without a doubt be donning the armband. He has been simply inspirational both for England and Aston Villa. His football IQ is incredible, natural leader on and off the field, and he's the owner of the most cultured left foot since Jason Ackerman. 9 goals and 10 assists later he's earned himself a starting job in the hotly contested England midfield and probably a move to Liverpool. God I hope he doesn't go to Liverpool. That would suck. That would really suck. That would "douche bag arch-rival stole my girlfriend" suck. Gareth Barry would be my girlfriend in this analogy.

Center Midfield: Elano - Manchester City
As talanted a passer as they come and a deadly long-range shot in his arsenal as well, the least Brazilian-looking Brazilian since Anderson Varejao makes the cut thanks to a sublime 1st half of the season and despite his disappointing 2nd half. Sven Goran Eriksson's crown jewel suffered a severe mid-season slump with only one goal from mid-October to early March but still managed 8 goals and 9 assists thanks to a strong start and decent finish.

Left Midfield: Ashley Young - Aston Villa
Another young lad with a penchant for peculiar antics. Ok peculiar isn't the right word, how about bizarre...no it's weird, it's fucking weird. Should get along great with Glen Johnson. So he may be a creep but on the field he's brilliant. Fastest player I've seen this side of Cristiano Ronaldo but he's a much better crosser of the ball. And he actually likes to pass the ball with a league-best 17 assists so at least he's got that over Ronaldo.

Striker: Roque Santa Cruz - Blackburn
Bargain basement buy of the season, hands down. Mark Hughes bought him for 3.5 million pounds in the summer and he went on to score 19 goals, 4th best in the league. To put this in perspective, Fernando Torres scored 24 goals this season, 3rd best in the league. He was bought for 26 million pounds. Also ups the latin heartthrob factor of my team which should bump up jersey sales.

Striker: Dimitar Berbatov - Tottenham
Perfect strike partner to complement the deadly finishing of Roque. With 15 on the season he knows how to score, that's for sure. But with 11 assists as well he's also proven himself to be one of the more well-rounded forwards in the game today. He holds the ball up well and links very well with the midfield and fellow forwards. His first touch and dribbling ability is effortless and immaculate and he has a 6th sense of where everyone is on the field. Am I flirting with hyperbole? Maybe. But I've also never seen a player like him since Eric Cantona, dead serious. The boy's a bit special.

Honorable Mentions (plus why they didn't make the cut):
David James (atrocious hairstyles, have you no dignity?), Martin Laursen (inconsistent, too many Aston Villa players already), Benjani (15 goals, 3 since January), Stewart Downing (I just plain don't like him)

The Spurs Are Making Me Xenophobic

2008-04-30T01:54:00.004-04:00

Problem: Diving fucking foreigners who bring the ugliest side of soccer from their respective homelands to the courts of the NBA where IT DOESN'T FUCKING BELONG (not that it belongs in soccer, either). These punks obviously didn't grow up playing ball in the U.S. and have never heard of the phrase "no blood, no foul." Doesn't matter how long they've been playing basketball, they all started out playing soccer. It's like getting circumsized. They fall to the ground at the slightest contact and never land on their feet when they drive to the basket. The referees don't know what to make of it because they don't understand how a player can fall so hard and not be fouled. They kick their legs out from under them, fling their arms into the air, and give Oscar-worthy grimaces and groans--all tell-tale signs of a soccer swan dive. I even saw Tim Duncan do the clip-the-back-of-my-leg-with-my-other-leg move tonight that was originated by Cristiano Ronaldo. It's disgusting.

Solution: Ethnic cleansing, duh.

Ok maybe too radical, how about a series of mandatory American culture classes featuring classes on toughness taught by Bill Laimbeer or domestic spousal abuse taught by Jason Kidd. Let's teach them how to be real men.

Ooor, y'know what? Let's just keep it simple, interment camps.

Scholesy Does It Again

2008-04-29T18:35:00.003-04:00

PAUL SCHOLES! HE SCORES GOALS! as the old chant goes. He doesn't score as many as he used and he hadn't scored in the Champions League since 2006. This season he had only scored once in all competitions but you can't say enough about the importance of timing. Just ask Scholes; back in 1999 the ginger-haired one chose the semifinal vs Juventus to pick up his 5th yellow card of the competition and was suspended for the epic Champions League triumph over Bayern Munich. Nearly a decade later the Ginger Prince seized upon an errant Xavi clearance 14 minutes into the contest and conjured up a bit of magic to remind us all why he will be the first name on the team sheet for the Moscow final in 3 weeks time.

Scholesy's 30 yard screamer proved to be the difference in an enthralling, and at times nerve-wracking, fixture. Barcelona had their chances to equalize but at times I could have sworn we were playing Arsenal out there with Barcelona oddly reluctant to actually test us with some shots on goal. Another puzzling choice was that of Thierry Henry, so often deadly against us in his old Arsenal days, starting on the bench and only coming on with 20 minutes to play. This is surely Rijkaard's final season coaching Barcelona after another trophy-less season where he has shown he can no longer handle the many superstar personalities of Barcelona.

Now to the player ratings:

Cristiano Ronaldo: 5/10 Petulant and immature, sloppy and selfish with possession and didn't match the effort of his teammates. Predictably ineffectual in the big game once again and I was a bit disappointed he wasn't subbed off instead of Nani late on.
Nani: 7/10 Pace caused Barcelona problems all night and upstaged his fellow Portuguese high-stepper.
Carlos Tevez: 7/10 An absolute pitbull up front and did well to disrupt the flow of Barcelona.
Paul Scholes: 9/10 Scored the vital goal and showed once again why he's one of the great midfielders of his generation with his intelligent and accurate passing.
Michael Carrick: 6/10 Did well to help Scholes manage the midfield and protect the backline.
Park Ji-Sung: 7/10 Gave us an incredible level of energy from start to finish, even coming close to scoring a couple times.
Owen Hargreaves: 7/10 Overall did well protecting his flank but ineffectual supporting the attack and had a couple nervous moments defending.
Patrice Evra: 8/10 Excellent defending and never once made me worry about any Barcelona attacks from the right wing. Also supported the left-wing attack and combined well with Ronaldo.
Wes Brown: 9/10 I usually give him a hard time, but he actually played excellent in place of the injured Vidic.
Rio Ferdinand: 8/10 Led by example wearing the captain's armband. The backline was superb and
Edwin van der Sar: 7/10 Typically steady in goal.

Man of the Match: Wes Brown. Scholes is the sentimental favorite plus he scored the winner but I'm gonna give it to the darkhorse. Against, in my opinion, the most dangerous attack in all of Europe, he stepped into Vidic's place and produced a fine defensive display without which we probably would've conceded a goal late on.

All-around solid performance especially without the services of Rooney and Vidic but still much to improve, particularly from Ronaldo's end, before we can dream about lifting the cup in Moscow.

I'm Gonna Go Out On A Limb...

2008-04-29T00:43:00.003-04:00

...and say the Atlanta Hawks will steal, or more like wrestle, Game 5 away from the Celtics in Boston and win the series back in Atlanta. Yes, the same Atlanta Hawks who had a losing record in the regular season. Yes, the same Boston Celtics who had a league-best 66 wins. Incidentally that's one less win than Dallas had last year.

What I'm saying is, come playoff time, the regular season counts for nothing more than that one extra home game against your opponent. It's all about matchups. Dallas won 67 games last season and lost in the first round to another 8 seed, the Warriors, because they simply didn't matchup well against Nellie's breakneck speed offense and prolific 3-pt shooting. They worked for every ball with guys like Andris Biedrins inhaling rebounds. Players like Matt Barnes stepped up like no one could've imagined and provided that little bit of extra to push them past the finish line. And they had a talismanic leader in Baron Davis, a player that no one player on the Mavs could stop, supplemented by Stephen Jackson's timely perimeter shooting.

The Hawks present a similar challenge to the Celtics. They have finally found their sea legs, or playoff legs, in two games at home in Atlanta, and more importantly they've found a formula to beat the Celtics that they have yet to find an answer for. Al Horford is playing beyond his years as a rookie in his first playoff series and is consistently beating Perkins and Garnett at their own game and cleaning up on the boards. They're getting unexpected production from Josh Childress, especially on the boards, and a particularly unexpected emotional boost off the bench from Zaza Pachulia. Bibby is finally letting the game come to him, scoring 18 on only 8 shots and managing the game like a true point guard should. Josh Smith is having a stellar playoff debut, the kind of series that cements you as a star in this league. He's making his free throws, leading the brilliant defensive effort by example (7 blocks!), and maybe most importantly providing a reliable 2nd scoring option to Joe Johnson. Most noticeably the entire team is playing with a degree of poise that just about everyone, including myself, didn't think they were capable of. The best part of it all is that the Celtics didn't even play poorly. The Big 3 combined for about 60 which almost always paves the way to victory for Boston.

I can honestly say, without exaggeration, that Joe Johnson's performance tonight was one of the great individual playoff performances I've seen in my lifetime. I know many will be reluctant to agree with this sentiment because it's just the Hawks, because it's just Joe Johnson, because they believe the Celtics will win out in the end anyway. I'm fine with that. The truth is Joe Johnson scored 35, 20 in the 4th quarter, on above 50% shooting, against the arguably the best defense in the league (statistically 2nd best) featuring the Defensive Player of the Year. Those are the numbers, those are the facts. But let's go beyond the numbers. I watched this game. I watched the 4th quarter. I watched as Joe Johnson toyed, teased, and tortured the Celtics with a vast arsenal of fakes, drives, floaters, fallaways, pullups, pivots, trey pounds (3 pointers for you lames), and when needed the vital dish to one of his teammates. They had no answer for him. For all of his offensive prowess, Ray Allen was helpless guarding Johnson and with the likes of Smith, Horford and Bibby on the floor the Celtics had their hands tied. Kind of reminded me of McGrady's series vs Detroit (1 vs 8 seed) back when he was with the Magic, simply unstoppable.

I'll say it again, it comes down to matchups. But it also comes down to belief and effort. Put simply, the Celtics can't stop Joe Johnson. If they double him there's still Josh Smith who can drive and finish or at least get to the free throw line at will. If they can replicate the effort they showed tonight on defense and on the boards and if coach Mike Woodson (who?) can manage the rotation and timeouts as well as he did, then it just comes down to belief. And they believe. Did you see the Georgian sensation Zaza Pachulia give Garnett that forehead-to-forehead love tap? Could you have ever imagined that happening watching the first two games in Boston? Then again, could you have ever imagined that According to Jim would still be on television? I think I've made my point.

Just When You Thought I Was Getting Soft...

2008-04-23T22:27:00.008-04:00

I know what you're thinking, first I confess my love for Mila, then I follow up with a measly picture post. Plus I haven't posted about Manchester United in ages. You're probably thinking I've lost my edge. Fair enough...

Things I hate:

1. United "fans" who are on their fucking phones the entire game about "maybe getting a couple bottles because y'know bro we'll probably roll with a crew of about 16, probably 10 dudes, but y'know bro nobody wants to commit because it's a lot of money and I'm gonna stay on the phone with you bro for 15 minutes and reiterate this same sentiment with little to no progress being made by the time I finally get off of the phone with you." AND THEN they come back and sit down to catch the end of the game, giving some empty applause for some empty effort on the field. Then they clap it up at the final whistle, feeling satisfied with a goalless draw where we squander a penalty opportunity away from home and get dominated on posession 2 to 1 from start to finish. Why do they do this? Because they don't really see what's going on in front of them because they're NOT REAL FUCKING FANS.

2. Headlines like "United Grind Out Valuable Draw" and "Solid Display Pleases Boss". They just don't sit well with me. Pleases? That kind of performance pleases you, Sir Alex? Where are our standards? I thought we were trying to make it to the Champions League final not just scrape by. We're in it to win it and you sure as fuck don't win it with 7 shots vs 20 from Barcelona, lack of direction, focus and shape, and generally dreadful play over 90 minutes. 27% posession? Were we allergic to the ball? And how exactly is this a good result for us? It makes the return game in Manchester a must-win while Barcelona only needs to score at least a goal and not lose. To qualify this as a good result I would have to be confident that we play better next game. Right now, I'm not.

3. Cristiano Ronaldo in big game situations. I know that's not exactly fair for me to say just a week after he stepped up for a penalty, stutter stepped, and scored against Arsenal--twice. But that still doesn't excuse the way he took that penalty today. Trying to power it just inside the post instead of just sending the keeper the wrong way and slotting it home comfortably. Fucking amateur. Steven Gerrard would have put it away. That's why he has a Champions League winner's medal and Ronaldo doesn't. There, I said it. Gerrard comes through in the clutch. Ronaldo falls down under challenges from defenders too easily and too often that when he does actually get fouled, particularly on two potential penalty calls in the 2nd half, the ref won't call it because he's the fucking pretty boy who cried wolf. And he loses his killer instinct that he usually has, his swag, and regresses to the Ronaldo of 4-5 years ago--holding the ball too long and either flicking fancy but harmless backpasses or just losing posession and falling to the ground...again.

Things I love:

Real World: Hollywood. Between Will and Sarah's forbidden romance, Joey's alcoholism, and Kimberly's latent racism; it's the only thing keeping me going.

All of the above being said, the most pivotal moment of the game came just before half-time when Rafa Marquez cynically tripped up Ronaldo and earned himself a yellow card--and more importantly, a suspension from the game in Manchester. With Barcelona shorn of their best and most tenacious defender and talismanic captain Carles Puyol still injured, United are actually in a good position to win back in Manchester, despite their worst efforts.

*Update: Puyol is not injured, he was just suspended, and he'll be back for next week's clash. So scratch that bit of optimism I had before. On the bright side Derek Rae wrote an article agreeing with my position on the perils of a goalless away draw which at least lets me know I'm not a ranting raving idiot. I'm just ranting and raving.

Where Referees Ruin Rivalries

2008-04-23T00:03:00.001-04:00

(Bet he got called for the charge)

Suck on that alliteration, David Stern.

Where No Posts For Three Weeks Happen

2008-04-22T00:12:00.011-04:00

This past weekend: where the start of the NBA Playoffs conveniently coincides with the deadline of an interminable group project and the best weather weekend of 2008 to briefly form THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE. But that dark cloud has since past, moving on...

The 2008 NBA Playoffs:

Where A.I. never left Philadelphia.

Where I've never seen a head coach as happy as Maurice Cheeks to win the first game of the first round of the playoffs.

Where the Orlando Magic are still the league's best kept secret.

Where Lamar Odom finally justifies the Caron Butler trade.

Where Maurice Cheeks, Byron Scott, Doc Rivers, Avery Johnson, and Mike D'Antoni (all former point guards) give hope to Knicks fans the world over with just two words: Mark Jackson (supplemented by three more words: Jeff Van Gundy).

Well that was fun, let me try it some more:

Wes Brown signing a new 4 year deal, where my hairline visibly recedes.

Wes Brown signing a new 4-year deal, where heart trumps head and you really can't imagine the boy wearing anything but United red.

15 goals in 3 games, where any doubt over who is heir to Sir Alex Ferguson's job is surely erased.

15 goals in 3 games, where any doubt over who should fill the left wing problem for England is erased. Hey, he may not be the sharpest tool in the ol' shed, but he sure knows how to polish one.

The movie theater on a Monday night at 10, where confused prepubescent boys go to watch humor way over their heads and brief full frontal male nudity with their parents.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall, where the title changes to Hi, Mila Kunis, Be My Wife? in my mind's eye.

12:35 am after writing inspiration from Jason Segel, where opportunity meets execution and writer's bloc finally ends. Enjoy the eye candy/my future wife.

Hi, I'm Stephen Curry...

2008-03-31T22:25:00.004-04:00

Masters of their respective crafts

No I'm jk. I'm not about to repeat my post template but by god am I tempted to. Now if I were to do a similar post on ya boy Curry it would go something like this: Most prolific NCAA scorer since David Thompson, best pure shooter with the best off-the-ball movement since Reggie Miller (some might say J.J. Redick, I won't), future lottery pick, next Mitch Ritchmond, hopefully future cornerstone of Knicks resurrec--ok, over it.

Truth is I really should be doing a "Hi, I'm Cristiano Ronaldo" post based on his other-worldly performances of late. It's come to a point where if he doesn't score a goal it's weird. Ronaldo scoring is a non-event. That's nuts. Here's a look at his last 10 league starts: 13 goals, 4 assists. THAT'S NUTS. To put his absurd season in perspective let's compare it to the other greatest single season performance by a Manchester United winger. George Best, widely regarded as the greatest and most gifted to ever wear the United red, scored 32 goals in 52 games in the 1967-68 season. Ronaldo has already obliterated that mark and with this genius backheel on Sunday brought his total on the season to 35 goals...in 37 games.

Your agility owes his agility 20 bucks. His quick smells like french toast (french toast?). His better is better than your better (waaaaay better).

(Real winner of this post: Nike Marketing Department)

Hi, I'm LeBron James...

2008-03-05T23:57:00.007-05:00

I like to score 50 points on 50% shooting and dish out 10 assists, too, just so my teammates don't feel left out while I dominate Madison Square Garden like no other since Michael Jordan. No big deal. Oh and when I'm not draining 7 three-pointers from anywhere and everywhere at will I sometimes clean up around the court and grab 8 boards. Again, no big deal. It's not like I'm the first player to put up 50-10-8 since Kareem Abdul-Jabbar 33 years ago or anything. And in between plays I like to jaw with the celebrities in the crowd and tell them I'm gonna score 50 when it's already the 4th quarter and I've only got 37. Y'know, just the usual, nothing too crazy. I like to keep it loose. Oh and one of my faaaavorite things to do is beat the buzzer before half-time with a 38-foot spot-up jumpshot. The crowd seems to really like things like that. They also like when I throw down obscene dunks during pre-game warmups that would probably win me a dunk contest or two. In fact they like what I do so much that when I finally sat down and gave the Knicks defense a break this one fan came down out of the stands and came up to me and--you know what he did?--he told me I was his favorite player! I was really touched. Oh and I almost forgot the 4 steals, I like to dabble in some defensive wizardry here and there. I'm just your average TWENTY THREE YEAR OLD.

Depressing Stat of the Night for Depressed Knicks Fans to Make Their Lives What Was Previously Thought to Be Impossible - More Depressing:
Only 2 other players have scored 50 points and dished 10 assists in a game in the last 20 years. Michael Jordan and, yup, Stephon Marbury. Yeah, 13.8 ppg Stephon Marbury. Coney Island's finest. Underachiever of all underachievers.

Tounge out like a certain 6-time NBA champion..

Ok seriously though, this is the stuff of legend. Pre-game dunk contest, half-time buzzer beater, mouthing "Fif-ty" to Spike Lee when he only had 37 in the 4th quarter, a fan so moved by his performance he actually got out of his seat and went up to him to tell him, dazzling play after dazzling play, effortless 3-point shooting, and oh yeah FIFTY. It's a game we'll look back on 10 years from now, the same way we look back on Jordan's 55 at the Garden after he came back from retirement, and think "Wow, greatness."

Jean-Michel Aulas: Foot Stuck Firmly In Mouth

2008-03-05T16:06:00.013-05:00

Aulas taunts Ferguson ahead of Champions League clash

"As we are people of fair play, we have brought a bottle of red wine chosen from the year Benzema was born," he told The Sun.

"It's from 1987 - a very fine wine.

"Instead of buying Benzema, he will get a bottle of fine Bordeaux."

Tsk, tsk, Jean-Michel...

Ronaldo scores...Benzema cries

How Aulas thought he was in an appropriate position to taunt us with his team up against the wall facing an away game nightmare and needing to score at Old Trafford is beyond me. Oh hubris, it'll getcha. Funny thing is, a Bordeaux wine doesn't score many goals. Unlike, say, Cristiano Ronaldo who scores a great deal of goals. Take the one he scored yesterday against Aulas' very own Lyon to knock them out of the Champions League, scrappy goal but a goal nonetheless. Keep Benzema, a fine 87' Bordeaux sounds like just the right thing to toast this victory, cheers.

Quickly...

2008-03-04T00:45:00.004-05:00

Changed the name of the blog. Had to be done. When The Seagulls Follow The Trawler--brilliant a tribute as it was to the man, the near-myth if not for the wonders of motion picture, the legend, Eric Cantona--was just too abstract. And a mouthful. And let's be real, no one's gonna type "When the seagulls follow the trawler" into a Google search and, truthfully, I would like it if it wasn't just my mom who read this space. Who am I kidding, she'd rather read Perez.

Note: I'm leaving the video up at the top of the page. It's a sort of ode to the abstract, mouthful, rebel without a cause early days of this blog. Now I've sold my soul and become a slave to conformity. Plus I'm tired of explaining the seagulls quote to the unenlightened and getting blank stares/pity laughter. Real post coming later this week after business school has its way with me. And with that here's a namesake commemorative Top 10 Eric Cantona Goals to brighten all our spirits:

What A Nancy Boy

2008-02-29T17:13:00.006-05:00

"Wenger Unhappy With Physicality"

Arsene Wenger, youze a bitch. Look at that nancy boy mug. I understand the leg-breaking tackle on Eduardo last week was horrific and inexcusable (not for the faint of heart) but physicality is a part of the game and always has been. Wenger is the reason why baseball fans say soccer isn't a contact sport. Which makes about as much sense as casting anyone other than Hugh Grant for the male lead in a romantic comedy (no sense). Wenger is the reason why players feel more and more entitled to fall to the turf at the slightest touch instead of taking the contact and playing on like a man (watch the first minute, just amazing). Wenger is a nancy boy who breeds diving nancy boys. I'm really enjoying the use of nancy boy right now, can you tell?

United Hold Serve In Lyon, Run Riot at St. James'

2008-02-26T03:03:00.006-05:00

I'm gonna be honest. I'd rather be writing about the brilliance that is "Making The Band 4" that I'm currently enjoying thoroughly as I write this. It's almost as good as, dare I say, "America's Best Dance Crew"...dare I say. I haven't seen Mario Lopez so excited since Bayside beat Valley. JC Chasez's greatest achievements in life can be ranked as follows:
3. Being a member of N'SYNC
2. Being asked to judge for "America's Best Dance Crew" after Chris Judd and Michael Jackson's brother Tito both declined AND despite his distinct lack of dancing talent
1. Being asked to guest star on Blaque's chart-topper "Bring It All To Me" where he got to pretend to be "so for real", wear tims, baggy jeans and have "thug appeal". His words, not mine. Ok let me get back on point...

Rooney scores the pick of the bunch at Newcastle

United Hold Lyon, Gain Upper Hand
United gave me a bit of scare midweek by almost losing at Lyon in the Champions League. Thankfully Carlos Tevez equalized on a scrappy goal in the dying stages to earn United a valuable away goal and the upper hand in their two-leg affair. Too many appendages in that last sentence. Not much to say about this game except that Karim Benzema is the truth in the booth and is, without a doubt, one of the brightest young talents in all of football. Straight up. The holy trinity of French-North Africans he's about to form with Hatem Ben Arfa and Samir Nasri is going to terrorize teams from World Cup 2010 to infinity and beyond. And the just the thought of this possibilty nearly gives me an aneurysm. But , yknow, like a good aneurysm.

United Run Riot
United followed up an impressive CL away performance with another impressive away performance as they embarassed Newcastle in front of their home crowd 5-1. Rooney and Ronaldo scored twice each and Saha added the 5th. United were never troubled from the outset, just a comprehensive demoralization. Oh yea and Cristiano Ronaldo is the best player in the world, no big deal.

Reigning World Player of the Year, Kaka: 8 goals in 18 appearances.
Leading candidate for WPY, C. Ronaldo : 29 goals in 23 appearances.
(Strong) Advantage: Cristiano Ronaldo

The Italian Job
Fiorentina succumbed away at Roma, 1-0. Don't wanna talk much more about it, it's a touchy subject.

Tottenham celebrate their triumph over Chelsea

And Finally...Fuck You, Chelsea
The Chelski scum were beaten in the Carling Cup final 2-1 thanks to an extra-time winner from new signing Jonathan Woodgate. Suck on that you billionaire bastards.

Manchester Maul Arsenal & Mutu Shines Again

2008-02-18T23:21:00.007-05:00

What a very, very good weekend it was. On Saturday Manchester United wiped the proverbial floor with Arsenal in their 5th round FA Cup tie to send them through to the quarterfinals by a 4-0 scoreline. Highlights here. The next day Fiorentina beat Catania 2-1 thanks to a 70th minute winner from the dreamy Adrian Mutu. Yeah, he's dreamy. I'm not gonna front. So let's start with the utter domination of Arsenal at Old Trafford:

What I like most about this consummate ass-beating was the virtual 2nd team that handed out the beating. All the pre-game chatter was about how Arsenal would rest their stars and United had the luxury of a full squad including the return of Wayne Rooney and Patrice Evra from suspension. Rooney and Evra did return to the starting lineup but that lineup also included a 5-man midfield of all second choice players. Regular starters Hargreaves, Scholes, Giggs, and Tevez were sitting as well as most notably Cristiano Ronaldo. Supposedly the game meant more to United. Didn't seem that way with the likes of Hleb, Kolo Toure and Fabregas all starting for Arsenal when they were all expected to sit meanwhile walking disaster Darren Fletcher started in our midfield as Ronaldo and his 27 goals sat on the sideline. The result was another masterstroke from Ferguson as the fresh-legged 5-man midfield and well-rested Rooney oozed energy and flair and blindsided Arsenal with 3 first half goals. Darren Fletcher added the 4th in the 2nd half after yet more domination, his 2nd of the game (shocking, I know). I'm a bit disappointed we didn't score 5.

Welcome Return
Wayne Rooney came back from suspension and showed just what United were missing in last week's loss to City as he could not be contained. His energy was incredible and he was at his precocious best. Unfortunately he was at his petulant worst picking up a completely unnecessary yellow card for time-wasting.

The Replacements
Nani had a hand in all 4 goals, scoring once and assisting twice. Both assists were to Darren Fletcher as the two briefly created a partnership to rival that of Stockton to Malone. His two headed goals aside, Fletcher was, predictably, otherwise generally inept. Anderson also caught the eye with a typically energetic performance, doggedly chasing down and winning almost every ball in his vicinity as well as making the odd intelligent pass. If you take away the dreadlocks, turn his skin color white, and replace his soft-spoken broken English with an Irish bark; you could easily mistake him for a young Roy Keane.

Dirty Gunners
Adebayor was booked for diving in the box to prompt a rousing rendition of the classic chant "Same old Arsenal, always cheating" from the capacity crowd. Eboue was red carded for a heinous aerial assault on Evra. And to top it off captain William Gallas was lucky to escape punishment for a petulant kick at Nani after he made him look silly by running circles around him. You could almost say they were as dirty as Chris Berman's mouth. Almost.

Man of the Match: Michael Carrick
Made a case for a starting spot with his 2nd successive impressive performance after his goal last week vs Man City. Quietly dominated the midfield from start to finish with impressively subtle ball control and a brilliant array of passing talents on display. Also created the play of the game as he delivered a pinpoint lofted pass from 40 yards away to the foot of Nani which he tucked away for the 3rd goal.

Next Game
Man United travel to France midweek for the first leg of their tie with Lyon in the Champions League. Lyon is grossly underrated and they sort of make me nervous but coming off a confidence-boosting performance like this and with the return of Tevez, Giggs, and Ronaldo to the squad I'm cautiously optimistic we'll come home with an important away victory.

The Italian Job
Mutu is the fucking man. Nothing much else to report here. The win puts Fiorentina ahead of AC Milan in 4th place. It was Mutu's 13th goal of the season. No official statistic of his supermodel count this season but it's probably a similar figure.

Bits & Bobs (Happy Valentine's Day!)

2008-02-14T19:21:00.008-05:00

It's pretty slow news midweek with the same recycling of stories about Rafa's future at Liverpool and the 39th game proposition so I'll just take this opportunity to tie up some loose ends as I anxiously await Man United's clash vs Arsenal in the FA Cup on Saturday and completely ignore the cultural significance of today. Valentine's Day is for suckas. No, I don't have a valentine but I'm not all cut my wrists about it. This isn't a livejournal. I understand the sentiment of the occasion, in this day and age we lead busy lives and it's easy to take for granted what you've got and it's nice that there is a day set aside for you to show that special someone that you do really care and appreciate them--fine, fine, that's all well and good. But 3 aisles at Duane Reade dedicated to heart-shaped boxes of cheap chocolate is nonsense. And every kiss doesn't begin with Kay and who really cares if he went to Jared or not? I hate society. But, boy do I love football (which is a part of society but let's not get weighed down by technicalities) so I'll move on to that. Just remember what the day is all about people, and don't be a sucka. Ok, rant over.

January Transfer Roundup
-No activity from United except a signing for the future in Manucho. I thought we needed another striker, oh well.

-The biggest transfer was Nicolas Anelka's move from Bolton to Chelski. Le Sulk gets a lot of flack for, well, being a sulk, but he's been successful thus far on his return to England and with a steady supply from the likes of Joe Cole and SWP he should be scoring freely like it's 1999. And then leaving for Real Madrid in the summer...like it's 1999. Chelsea is now his 9th club in 10 years and I predict the mercenary will take that impressive number to double digits. Plus with 85 million pounds being transferred for his services over his career, he clearly just loves people spending money on him. Hmm...daddy issues?

-Fulham's new manager Roy Hodgson tried to separate himself from previous manager Lawrie Sanchez's regime by going out and bringing in 7 new players. 4 of whom were strikers. To add to the 5 they already have. And they're still trying to get a 5th striker. Which would make it a shocking 10 strikers on the payroll. Hey you think Fulham need more strikers instead of, oh I don't know, just one competent defender? Different manager, same stupidity. I'm gonna go out on a very study and secure limb and say Roy will be jobless by season's end.

-It's a Derby Revolution as they've also brought in 7 players during the transfer window including Egyptian non-factor useless Tottenham reject fuckup Hossam Ghaly to help them avoid relegation. They've also also added some much-needed star power to bingo nights at the local YMCA by bringing in geriatrics Robbie Savage, Danny Mills and my favorite old fogie Alan Stubbs. Sooo it's not really a revolution at Derby. And they're still getting relegated.

- A lot of people don't like the move from Aston Villa manager Martin O'Neill to buy Tottenham "reject" Wayne Routledge. I love it. Just a few years back Routledge had a sparkling season for Crystal Palace and was unlucky to be mismanaged by Chris Coleman at Fulham and then sent to Tottenham where they already have Aaron Lennon, basically a better version of Routledge. O'Neill has filled the right wing void with one of the fastest players today, who is still young with much to prove, to add to a squad that is already by far the fastest in the league. Aston Villa are officially my 2nd favorite team.

- Juando Ramos showed why he's a 2-time UEFA Cup winner by doing the simple, yet seemingly impossible thing for many inept managers today, in identifying the team weakness--defense--and buying accordingly. I like all three defenders he signed, especially class act Jonathan Woodgate. And he sold the surplus-to-requirements Defoe to balance the books.

-In contrast Boro manager Gareth Southgate showed just why he is the afformentioned inept manager type so prevalent in the game today by ignoring his biggest team weakness--defense--and splashing the cash on prolific but unproven Dutch league striker (sound familiar?) Alfonso Alves for 12 million pounds.

The Italian Job

Fiorentina won the first leg of their UEFA Cup round of 32 matchup against Rosenborg away in Norway. Male model/rich and famous footballer/Florentine demigod Adrian Mutu (how good is his life? Answer: this good) scored the only goal. Take that, anti-Romanian immigrant laws. If they hold serve at home they'll most likely play Everton in the round of 16. God I wish I was back there...

Exciting Blogspot Update of the Day
"Transliteration is now available in Kannada, Malayalam, Tamil, and Telugu as well as Hindi" - Score one for my native peoples whoo!

Headline of the Day
On Didier Drogba confiding in fellow Ivory Coast international Yaya Toure about his future:

"Drogba Shares Secrets With Yaya Brotherhood" - Football365.com

Nickname of the Day
"King Nkong" - Giant-and-intimidating-but-really-just-misunderstood-gorilla of a midfielder, Cameroon international Alain Nkong.

And Finally
We make that paper.

All for now. Now excuse me while I go get loose tonight.

A Day Of Remembrance...And A Derby As Well...

2008-02-10T18:33:00.000-05:00

Today Manchester--both red and blue sides--came together for a moving and fitting tribute to those that perished in the Munich air disaster 50 years ago last Wednesday. 23 people died including 8 of the famed "Busby Babes" who won back-to-back league titles and were actually flying back from a Champions League semi-final when the crash occurred. Some ignorant City fans, including the pieces of shit who set off what sounded like fireworks outside the stadium during the minute's silence, forget that they lost one of their own in legendary keeper Frank Swift who was one of the 8 journalists also killed in the crash. It wasn't just a United tragedy, it wasn't just a Manchester tragedy or a football tragedy either; it was a tragedy.

"Forever remembered" was the motto of the occasion and the words rang true as the emotion was palpable even through the television screen during the solemn pre-match ceremonies and minute of silence. Sir Alex even gave Sven a seemingly genuine half-embrace after they both laid their respective club wreaths in the center circle. Ferguson said of the occasion: "I have never been more proud to be a part of Manchester United."

Now let's get to the actual daaarby. Rooney was suspended for the game after picking up his 5th yellow card of the season for diving in his last game. Incidentally, United are unbeaten with Rooney playing. Hmm...well the predictable happened without Rooney and an injured Saha (Saha? Injured? Get outta town) leaving the attacking burden on Tevez and making it easier for City to focus their defensive attention on the boy Ronaldo. Maybe we didn't have to loan out Angolan starlet Manucho to Greece, just a thought. City scored through the handiwork of the irrepressible Martin Petrov who is, dare I say, faster than Ronaldo. Vassell almost fluffed his chance like he usually does but scored on the rebound. City made it two before the half with new signing Benjani flicking on a Petrov cross just inside the far post. United proceeded to spend the majority of the 2nd half firmly entrenched in City's half of the pitch with little success and finally scored a consolatory goal in stoppage time through a strike from Michael Carrick trying to prove that he hasn't faded into oblivion since his gem of a game vs Roma last season.
Disappointing, obviously. Especially considering the way Arsenal have handled the same City side with ease this season. Still I'm not very concerned because when it comes down to it we have the stronger side: best central defensive partnership in the league, best midfield depth between Hargreaves, Carrick, the ever-improving Anderson, and now Scholes back, and the best player in the world playing absolutely out of his skin.

At least that's what I keep telling myself as I try to ignore the fact that Adebayor is fast becoming one of the most consistently deadly strikers in the league, Flamini is making everyone forget about Viera, and Alexander Hleb is proving that he's actually not a bad footballer (very good, in fact). Plus I keep hoping that Ronaldo will, for once, have a good game vs Arsenal/Chelsea/Liverpool. But that's not happening, nope. This is depressing. SO HOW BOUT THEM GIANTS? Wow never thought I'd see the day where the Giants make me feel better about a poor United performance. I'm feeling disoriented, where's my inhaler..

SUPERBOWL RUNNING DIARY

2008-02-03T18:14:00.000-05:00

"David Tyree, that's all you gotta say" - Eli Manning, Superbowl MVP

Alright I'll be honest I'm a futbol man first before football but I like a little pigskin from time to time. Especially if that time is Super Bowl time. And my Giants are playing. Granted I don't own a single piece of Giants merchandise or apparel (except for my brother's old hoodie from the Dave Meggett days that I can't even find), I haven't watched a full game all season except the NFC Championship, and the only Giants game I've ever gone to was against the Vikings because my buddy Sam over at Vikings Vitals took me to it. Sam will also have a running diary for this momentous occasion. Anyway point is, I am, in fact, a Giants fan and I have a blog thus it is my civil duty to keep this running diary. Plus this is partly my marketing homework to report on the commercials. Moving forward...

Coin Toss: Patriots come out with a full entourage of 6 for the coin toss while the Giants come out with 4 including the wiley veteran punter Jeff Feagles. Advantage: Giants

Post-Coin Toss: Feagles makes the call, tails. Of course it's tails. Feagles never fails whether coin toss or coffin corner punt.

First series:
Two hand-offs to Jacobs to start, predictable. 3 and 6 and Eli converts to Plaxico for the first down. Mmmmm Plaxico purr for me baby purrr.

Random thought: Madison Hedgecock my have one of the more unfortunate names in the National Football League, and he's a fullback to boot.

The other Steve Smith gets his first catch for another first down.

Ahmad Bradshaw is confused and thinks he's Brandon Jacobs as he plows for a first down and carries Ty Warren for an extra couple yards.

"Tom Petty and the Heartbeakers for the halftime show?! Get out of town. I am just giddy with excitement. I am also outside of the coveted 18-34 age bracket, oh..." - Oldest man alive

Joe Buck makes himself useful and points out that Eli is 3-3 on 3rd down conversions as he slides out of the pockets and slings another first down to the other Steve Smith.

Update: Randall Gay comes out the worse for wear of the collision with Steve Smith and his return is questionable. Even Steve Smith getting in on the Jacobs mentality.

Brandon Jacobs is confused and thinks he's Ahmad Bradshaw as he tries to run outside. Role reversal didn't work out as well this time.

Manning can't convert the 3 and 10 and LT (Lawrence Tynes for you lames) converts the FG. Giants strike first, 3-0. Best part of the drive was that it lasted 10 minutes. More drives like that will take their toll on the aging linebacker core of the Patriots and keep Brady's juggernaut out of rhythm.

Patriots first series:
Fake reverse HB screen goes incomplete, otherwise...whew that was close. Maroney plows forward for 8 on the next play. Maroney again for 5 yards and a first down. "The blue dude! I don't like that guy..."

Patriots playing small ball with a short pass to Stallworth and a little dinker to Welker for another first down. Kevin Faulk goes for 10 yards on little dump pass for another first down. Just lulling us into a sleep before BAM Randy Moss hits us upside the head.

Antonio Pierce forgot to turn around and look at the ball and gets called for an obvious pass interference on Ben Watson. Nice.

What? Doritos? Message from my heart? iTunes? What? WHAT?

Touchdown Maroney after switching sides to the other side of the field to start the 2nd quarter. Not gonna lie, mildly disorienting. Patriots up 7-3.

Go Daddy commercial, just shameless. We get it Danica, you're sorta hot. You're not just one of the guys, you're not butch blah blah. Well on the plus side that'll definitely get you the respect you're looking for in the male-dominated racing culture. Oh wait...

Pam Anderson looking ROUGH in the crowd. Gisele looking...well I'm not gonna depress you all by reporting on this anymore.

Giant's second possession:
Amani TOOOOOOOMER with the big grab for 40 something yards, making dragging your feet inbounds look wayyy too easy once again. Also getting away with the obvious facemask, he's been around long enough he's allowed to do that.

"Eli is like really good now, huh?" - Sam, Vikings fan.

Fuck, spoke too soon. I should have known better to not put that quote up there. First interception thrown by Eli since Week 17. Ellis Hobbs both times.

"We may not be the best announcers out there..." - Joe Buck. Truer words have never been spoken.

Eli gets sacked for the first time tonight. Ahmad Bradshaw fumbles on the next play and the Patriots have recove--no wait the Giants somehow retained possession. Bradshaw made up for it and wrestled the ball back from Woods in the scrum. And now for the star of the show, Jeff Feagles...

Careerbuilder.com comes up with a real winner. Follow your heart. Powerful message, powerfully presented. A bit too jarring and graphic at first with the heart popping out of her body, but it works. Big fan of the guys (and girls, maybe) behind the Careerbuilder marketing campaign. Just a fan of the job search companies in general actually, Monster.com was the big winner last year with their "When I Grow Up" commercial...ok I'll stop with the marketing talk.

Hmm Life Water...50 Cent vs Naomi Campbell look-alike...Advantage: Vitamin Water.

Brady gets sacked two plays in a row. Patriots forced to punt. Justin Tuck, ladies and gentlemen, Justin Tuck.

Bud Light losing maaaajor points with Carlos Mencia. Where's the proper market research that shows that EVERYBODY HATES CARLOS MENCIA.

Chicken wings just got delivered. Be back in 15.

Joe Buck : They (the Giants) couldn't have hoped for a better first half. HUHH? No Joe I think they could've. You clown.

Randy was in-bounds--No wait who cares brady fumbles and osi recovers..

HALFTIME: 7-3 Patriots at the half. First half analysis..eh y'know what fuck it we're still in it and we're in it to win it. Let's sit back and enjoy some Tom Petty now, eh?

Terry Bradshaw first half recap: "Hubbabubba New England first down pass interference touchdown lamabama lama lama sgthdgthdrfyxbtustrfhdj...heckuva a football game."

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers have about as much stage energy as Michael Strahan has teeth. But then again they can play "Free Falling" over the loudspeaker and get away with not actually being on stage and playing it. Guitarist who's name I don't know is currently rocking out with full star power on expert level, I'd say 97% of notes played.

Second Half:
Maroney starts the second half like he started the first with some purposeful running. Let's hope his impact fades as it did the first half.

Antonio Pierce with a nice open field tackle of Kevin Faulk to prevent the first down and force the punt.

Hahaha Shaquille O'neal as a horse jockey hahaha...oh wait what was that commercial for? Idiots. Bridgestone has the typical sophomore slump of a second commercial.

Kevin Faulk is killing us. He's a slippery character. I can almost hear Chris Berman's analysis later tonight..."whoop! whoop!"

I'm blogging shoulder to shoulder with Sam of Vikings Vitals and I have to say he's blogging me right out of the park but hey I'm actually emotionally involved in this thing.

Patriots go for it on 4th and 13 and predictably don't convert. Puzzling play call. Keep it up, Belichick. Kevin Faulk comes up lame on the play, too. Turning point? We'll see...

Eli is gun-slinging like it's 1849.

Jeff Feagles is one of my favorite players--nay, favorite people--in the whole wide world. Another great coffin corner punt. I'd like to make him the godfather of one or two of my children. He's so reliable.

WOWW E-TRADE BABY COMMERCIAL, IT'S FANNNN-TASTIC (copyright NBA)

The Giants pass rush is a beauty to behold. Kavika Mitchell, best free-agent pick up since Marques Colston...hey whatever happened to that guy...

Maroney is back with another strong run, don't know why they aren't going to him more. By the way, Pam Oliver is looking great tonight whether on the sideline in that striking leopard-print top or even in her small headshot shown in corner of the screen.

Still 7-3 at the end of the 3rd quarter. Hmm that 54 point under is looking pretty good now..Hey remember when Plaxico guaranteed keeping the Patriots under 17 points...

I HATE OLD COMMERCIALS SHOWN DURING THE SUPER BOWL, even if it's a pretty good one from American Airlines.

Silly Hanson, you can't punt like the legendary Jeff Feagles. Can you say X-Factor?

Sorry any commercial that features Madonna's "Ray of Light" just isn't ever ever ever EVER going to be good NO MATTER WHAT. Unless there's a talking baby involved. Then maybe you've got a winner on your hands. I'm a sucker for those talking babies. Remember that movie "Look Who's Talking"? How can you not? Dare I say John Travolta's best work. Definitely Kirstie Alley's best work, and that's not at all daring to say. And yet I digress...

Kevin Boss--not to be confused with Boss Bailey, easily confused with some of the best tight ends in NFL history--with the big catch and run only to be tripped up by steroids--I mean, Rodney Harrison.

DAVID TYREE TOUCHHHDOWNNNN WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I refer you to Sam's Vikings Vitals for a more coherent analysis. Peyton Manning is pumped.

Coca-Cola commercial conversation:
"How much did Segway pay to get into that commercial?"
"A lot, but they only have about 5 bucks"

"Don't Mess With The Zohan" looks pretty decent but they couldn't have picked a better name than Zohan? Honestly?

Generally some nice open field tackling from the Giants. That's all I've got to say for now. Big fan of the Brady-getting-thrown-about-like-a-rag-doll-with-curly-red-pigtails montage.

WHOOO E-TRADE BABY IS BACK. And immune to the sophomore slump commercial that previously affected Bridgestone. Not gonna lie, that baby almost got me as excited as I was when David Tyree scored that touchdown. Almost. And great addition with the clown.

Hey it's 8 minutes left in the 4th quarter and the Giants are winning 10-7 with the ball in hand...ok I'm gonna focus on the commercials I can't deal with what may unfold next...

"Hey Will Ferrell likes Bud Light, and he's really funny. Maybe I'll buy Bud Light now instead of Coors Light, no funny comedians drink Coors Light..." Well played, Bud Light. Well played.

John Johnson, Giants trainer, is shown being senile on the sidline. What a legend, they don't name em' like they used to. God, he is old.

Sam just used matriculating in his blog, I'm just not on his level. Oh wait but now he's looking it up on dictionary.com and slowly realizing that it is not the right word choice. Still I haven't seen that level of effort since the Lakers played the T-Wolves where Ronny Turiaf AND Mark Madsen were on the court at the SAME TIME. Incredible.

Patriots are driving and they are now in the red zone. I don't want to talk about it. Give me commercials. I want to see the E-Trade baby.

Fred Robbins is injured and being helped off the field. In unrelated news Justin Tuck closeup without his helmet on is a scary sight and Antonio Pierce has a very shiny bald head. You learn a lot of things when there's a break in play and players take off their helmets.

Oh goodness, 3rd and goal...I'm writing this as it unfolds...oh god..ohgodohgodohgod...when you write it like that it looks like dohgod, that doesn't really make sense now does it...oh god here's the snap...touchdown Randy Moss, I just felt my heart actually sink an inch or two, Corey Webster fell down and Moss was wide open...hard done by I think, we deserved better than that...

NO MATTER HERE COMES CHA BOY ELI WITH THE 2-MINUTE DRILL, MANNING STYLE

I direct you to Sam's blog once again because I can't possibly blog coherently, let alone wittingly, at this time.

Advertising for Victoria's Secret is just not fair. It's like Lebron James playing against any player in the NBA, too easy. In this analogy Adriana Lima is Lebron James. I know the mental picture doesn't really match up but if you think that Lebron James scores at will just as Adriana Lima captures the hearts and penises of men at will..I think it works.

SHDifSHFilshdf ASHHHHHH OMG ELIIIIIII YOU SWEET SWEEET MANNN YOU LEGEND YOURE A FUCKING LEGEND

"I want them to win" - Sam, Vikings fan.

And David Tyree, you're a legend, too. Absurd catch, props to you. "Dap", if you will.

PLAXICOOOOOOOO BURRRRREESSSSSSS TOUUUCHHDOWNNN YOU LEGEND YOU FUCKING LEGENDDDDDDDDD. 17-14 Giants. Oh god my fragile heart can't take this.

Peyton Manninng IS PUMPED.

I wish there was a video feed to go with this running diary so you all could see the sheer ecstasy coursing through my mind, body and soul at the moment of Plaxico making that catch.

HOLLLDD ONNN.

JAY ALFORRDDD. ROOKIE. SIT DOWN THOMAS BRADY, SIT DOWN. I KNOW YOUR FULL NAME ISN'T THOMAS AND I DON'T CARE. YOU CAN KEEP GISELE I'LL TAKE THE 'SHIP. No but seriously, I prefer Adriana.

Can't touch the 72' Dolphins, sorry.

Eli Manning, you're a legend. Plaxico Burress, you're a legend. David Tyree, so are you. Michael Strahan, you did it baby. Jeff Feagles, you were a legend before but now you're a champion, too. And the future godfather of my children.

HANDS RAISED TO THE SKY. IT'S OVER. THE NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS ARE THE 2008 SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS. I'm gonna take a shot of Taverna Authentic Russian Vodka. Good night.

Let The Superlatives Flow

2008-01-30T23:08:00.001-05:00

I know, I know. Cristiano Ronaldo is the best player in the world blah blah boooring. Hackneyed, isn't it? But after yet another virtuoso performance and one of the goals of the season what else do you expect me to talk about?

So anyway, Manchester United had an easy going of it against Portsmouth tonight at Old Trafford after Ronaldo blitzed them for 2 goals in 3 minutes early on in the first half. After that it was smooth sailing and the game ended 2-0 but they could have easily scored more. By the way, I'm a psychic. Predicting the scoreline and Ronaldo to get on the scoresheet (although these days it'd be more of a gamble to bet against Ronaldo scoring.)

Now for some quotes:

"David Beckham's strike rate was pretty good, Eric Cantona used to take them too but Ronaldo's strike rate is phenomenal. That without doubt must be the best (I've seen in the Premier League). From that distance he is going to hit them. No keeper in the world would save that." - Sir Alex Ferguson

"He's a gift from heaven, isn't he? He truly is a gift from heaven. Whatever he touches turns to gold." - Match commentator (Martin Tyler?) after the brilliant free-kick.

Strong words coming from a guy who's coached such free-kick masters as Cantona, Veron, Scholes, Denis Irwin, and of course David Beckham. Also very flattering words from the match commentator who, if I'm not mistaken, isn't even a United fan yet he's sounding like one.

Marvel at the magic:

Now Back To The Boys In Red...

2008-01-29T01:39:00.000-05:00

Alright now back to business. First thing's first: All Hail Cristiano.

No thumbs up to you, good sir. Alright now that that's out of the way...no but seriously, 25 goals? In 23 games? Really? Revolutionizing the winger position as we know it? And he's great looking? And he throws parties for his teammates complete with authentic Manchester hookers? He's really embracing the #7 shirt. George Best is smiling down from heaven.

Moving on, Manchester United were drawn to play Arsenal in the 5th round (round of 16) of the FA Cup. I couldn't be happier about this draw. Not only do we get to play them at home as opposed to a semi-final that would've likely been at Villa Park or a final at Wembley, but we play them 6 days after the African Nations Cup ends which is most likely when Kolo Toure and Eboue will return after the Ivory Coast inevitably wins.

Update: my colleague Nick over at the Manchester United Offside pointed out the draw isn't exactly ideal as we play Lyon in the Champions League a few days later. Good point but still, I'll take a home draw vs an ANC-weakened Arsenal team.

Speaking of African Nations Cup cha boy Manucho--of former Petro Atletico glory, current Angolan Black Antelopes glory, and future Red Devil glory--scored two in an upset over Senegal. Not getting carried away, all I'll say is he looks promising. And when he scores his first goal for us in the imminent future I will declare the Trawler to be in a state of Manucho Mania.

Looking ahead to Wednesday's home clash vs Pompey I must say I'm cautiously confident. Despite our poor recent form against them and them being a generally stingy team to break down, the ANC has severely weakened their team plus I don't see a viable solution they could have to the boy Cristiano. Still Pompey is as hard a team as any to blow out so I'll predict 2-1 or 2-0 as a final score, with Cristiano quite obviously on the scoresheet.

Can't Find The Words

2008-01-28T23:39:00.000-05:00

For a title, that is. An appropriate title to the first post I've done in a little over 5 months. What can I say when you study abroad you don't have time for a lot of things--class (academic), sobriety, class (behavior), so on and so forth but I digress--not least of which you don't have time to keep up a blog, especially living in a country as technologically backwards as Italy where the internet goes out about as often as...I don't know it's been a while, it's gonna take me a few posts to get back to my heyday of witty metaphors. Point is, the internet went out a lot. But enough excuse-making; let's get back in the swing of things.

In recent news I've become a Fiorentina fan. After spending a semester in Florence and not having a previous Italian league allegiance how could I not? Add to that the Viola were punching above their weight for a while in the early stages of this season with an impressive undefeated record and a stint at 2nd place in the standings. Two of the highlights of my time in Florence were the two games I attended, a day game vs Atalanta (not at all as bad as you would imagine) and a night game vs Roma (every bit as incredible as you would imagine). Really a cultural phenomenon. The first video is Bobo Vieri's first goal for Fiorentina vs Atalanta, a header off a free-kick from Liverani (the token black guy Anson Carter-type of Italian soccer). A bit hard to see as it was the opposite end of the field but you get the picture. The second video is Adrian Mutu's equalizing penalty kick vs Roma, a cheeky chip from a cheeky man. And the third is a bit of the Viola ultras, the Autonomous Collective, in full voice and some random game action, enjoy. I'll be back soon with another post reaalll soon, promise.

note: the videos were bigger on my computer, sorry.

Bobo's First Goal

Mutu's Cheeky Chip

Crowd and Game Action

...

2007-08-19T10:27:00.000-04:00

I'm absolutely steaming. I'm not one to get all hysterical so early in the season but when you drop 7 out of 9 points to start and you're gunning for the title, yes it's officially a crisis. I hate rooting for Liverpool but that's what I'll be doing in a half-hour. I am so fucking pissed right now. I'll write a full match report/scathing madman rant later when I've cooled down. I'll also do a post on the Red Bulls-Galaxy game I went to last night because that game made me happy unlike this mindless fucking drivel I just watched.

Oh God. Oh God, No.

2007-08-12T17:40:00.000-04:00

Quick game analysis: Watching the first 30 minutes or so I had no doubt that we would start this season off to a flyer. Dominating possession, creating chances left and right, I was just waiting patiently for the breakthrough. Then the minutes dragged on, then Rooney went down and I immediately thought the worst despite him continuing to play the half, then Nani came on for him and it was clear that we we're lacking that finishing touch. We looked like Arsenal. Ugh.

Full credit to Reading, they were organized and played "bend but don't break" defense. Kitson red card was a bit harsh on replays but referees don't make decisions on replays they make em' on what they see in real-time and in real-time that challenge looked nasty. First game of the season at Old Trafford is a daunting task and no one wants to start off with a loss so you can't blame them for putting 10 behind the ball.

Moving on to the more important matter: It's not enough that we absolutely dominate Reading for 90 minutes and even with an extra man end up with a draw, no it's not enough. The boy wonder just has to go and get injured. Out for 3 months could be a legitimate possibility. I'll make this very clear, there is no single player that we couldn't have afforded to lose to injury more than Rooney.

If Ronaldo goes down, PFA award and all, we at least have Anderson and Nani to fill in. If Scholes or Carrick go down, we have Hargreaves or Fletcher (yes, he really isn't that bad). But Rooney, that's a whole other story.

Riddle me this, how is it that currently the only available strikers we have are Carlos Tevez and Dong Fangzhou? DONG EFFIN' FANGZHOU. Nothing against the guy, he sells a lot of jerseys abroad and maybe he'll be good in a couple years, but no way is he ready to contribute to this years campaign. In contrast you have Giuseppe Rossi, a guy who lit up the Reserves two seasons ago and has been chomping at the bit for a full season now. Oh and in his spare time he also scored 9 goals in half a season for Parma. Now how exactly do you bid 10 million pounds for Quagliarella, who scored 11 goals in a full season in Italy, while letting Rossi go for 6 million? Are you meaning to tell me that the conversation where SAF tells Rossi that he's gonna let Smith go to Newcastle and he needs him to play this season because Saha is made of glass and Solskjaer is on his last legs never happens? Really?

Me feeling Rossi was hard done by aside, this is a team that is playing on 4 fronts. The fact that Saha and Solskjaer are only temporarily injured shouldn't be taken lightly. SAF knew that he would only have Rooney, Tevez, and Fangzhou to start the season (and actually the Tevez deal wasn't even finalized by then) when he decided to sell both Smith and Rossi. Just like how currently we don't have to sell Heinze, we didn't have to sell Rossi. It just doesn't make sense.

Looking for solutions: Enough ranting. No crying over spilt milk, well maybe a little crying. I'd like to see Frazier Campbell called up and given a shot, I think he can contribute more than Fangzhou (still can't understand why he isn't out on loan to a Championship side like Arsenal did with Bendtner last year). Also let's not forget, the transfer deadline is August 31st and rumor has it that Eidur Gudjohnsen is available. All for now, cheers.

Rihanna and Cassie Should Learn From Freddy

2007-07-30T22:24:00.001-04:00

Now hold on a minute give me a chance, there is in fact a link to football here and not just an excuse to post these ridiculous pictures of Rihanna and Cassie (well...)

Recently, two of the sexiest members of the music industry's U-21 squad (though definitely not two of the most talented) were denied entry to Fabolous' album release party at a club in NYC because they were obviously under 21. Seems like fame can't always circumvent the law, not always at least.

These two bombshells need to learn from my boy Freddy Adu, who I recently spotted at nightclub Fur when I was down in DC for the weekend. See Freddy got in because it was an 18+ night and y'know what he looked like he was definitely enjoying himself (probably because his handlers were slipping him drinks).

Anyway Freddy was very nice when I went up to him to shake his hand (more like give him a drunken pound-come-hug). In my drunkeness I failed to get the scoop on whether he's leaving the MLS or not but now we all know that he is. I did ask him if he'll be in the squad for South Africa 2010 to which he enthusiastically replied "Yeah! Definitely man!"

And you know what? I think I believe him. Best of luck with Benfica.

That Scheming Arsene Wenger Has Got Me Worried (Slightly)

2007-07-23T14:41:00.000-04:00

Wenger Crouching and Scheming

It's easy to say that, in the wake of Thierry Henry's departure to Barcelona and the arrival of unproven Croatian league starlet Eduardo da Silva, Arsenal will be the weakest of the big 4 and may even finish 5th behind big spending North London rivals Tottenham. It's a bit bolder to say that Arsenal will not only finish higher than Tottenham, but higher than Liverpool, too. Even bolder to predict a 3 horse race this year for the title between United, Chelsea, and Arsenal and distinct possibility that they could nip the league. Well, that's what I'm doing (-pumps out chest-).

Let's not forget that just last season the "experts" were tipping United to finish 3rd or even 4th and predicting Liverpool and then-defending champs Chelsea for the title. Then this happened.

Chelsea also won their first title in 50 years the season after Arsenal went unbeaten and seemed invincible until we did this. Sure they had millions upon millions pumped into the squad, but I'm just pointing out there seems to be a theme of teams defying the pre-season predictions in recent years.

Now for my actual reasons why I think Arsenal will pose a serious threat to take the title from Old Trafford:
1. Henry leaving means the greatest goalscorer to ever play in the Premiership leaving (yeah, I said it). But Henry leaving also means a whole lot of whining and distractions and prima donna behavior leaving, too. Arsenal had the best record last year against the top 4 teams, beating United twice including once at Old Trafford without Thierry Henry. It's important to note that young Cesc Fabregas set-up Adebayor for the winner with a lovely through-ball.

2. That brings me to my next reason, Cesc Fabregas. Much like how Ronaldo and Rooney rose to the occasion and carried United to victory after van Nistelrooy was sold, I think this is the year that the young Gunners break out from the shadow of Henry and start beating down on teams, led by Cesc. Specifically the lesser teams that they had the most trouble beating last season. Look for the likes of Nicklas Bendtner, Theo Walcott, Van Persie and Denilson to have great seasons, too. Also, goalkeeper Fabianski is a bit under the radar but he could be a given a chance and replace the error-prone Jens Lehmann.

That being said it's not like United or Chelsea have lost a step this off-season and both have only gotten stronger. Too close to call for a concrete prediction (cop-out, I know) but I will say it will be a very close 3 horse race for the title (sorry, Scousers, I'm just not buying the hype).

Good News For Smudge Fans

2007-07-15T16:51:00.001-04:00

Alan Smith, affectionately nicknamed "Smudge" by his former Leeds fans, has been added to the United squad that is set to tour Asia. Amid all the rumors of him going to Boro or Newcastle or wherever, this is good news for the majority of United fans that love our Smudger. This man broke his leg and dislocated his ankle in one of the most horrific injuries I've ever seen (typically diving in to block a John Arne Riise free-kick) then worked his socks off for about a year to get fit again when some said his career might be over. He turned down the opportunity to get some playing time on loan, worked through the reserves and finally emphatically came back with this. The guy is 100% committed all the time.

Some people have such a short memory. Only 3 years ago Smith was signed for a bargain 6 million pounds from Leeds United. He was a major contributor to Leeds' Champions League semi-final appearance in 2001 and scored 7 goals in Europe that year. He's not just got heart, he's got skill too. He famously turned down an opportunity to play for England to instead play for the United reserve squad. United have a talented striker that would start for the likes of Middlesbrough but is actually willing to be 3rd or 4th choice and help the team in whatever way he can. He's a fan favorite (especially with the ladies) and a great example to the rest of the squad with his commitment and heart. All he's asking for is a little backing and new contract that says we want him. Is that really too much to ask?

With that being said, here are my Top 5 Alan Smith goals for Manchester United:

5. 2004 vs Blackburn - Couldn't find it anywhere but it was a clutch injury time equaliser. Instead here's a nice little goal he had at Charlton:

4. vs Fulham (skip to the 2:12 mark):

3. 2004 FA Community Shield vs Arsenal (first goal for United-skip to 2:58 mark):

Alan Smith
Uploaded by Patryczek_Ronaldo

2. 2007 CL Quarterfinal vs Roma:

Manchester United 2 - 0 Roma - Smith Goa
Uploaded by FootballHeaven

1. 2004 vs Norwich:

He needs to stay because, frankly, he's a true Red Devil (apart from that whole being from Leeds thing, minor detail).

Forget Arsene Knows, Martin O'Neill Knows

2007-07-08T15:28:00.000-04:00

Shhh. If you listen very closely you can hear Martin O'Neill quietly putting together a very good squad at Aston Villa. Flying under a Premiership radar clogged by Arsene and Henry, United and Tevez, 'Pool and Torres, and Big Sam and every bargain buy on the market; Martin O'Neill has been carefully crafting a young, well-balanced team that looks more than capable of qualifying for Europe. I've always been a fan of Martin O'Neill, rarely ever makes a mistake in the transfer market and success follows wherever he goes (pictured above is what you call a TREBLE).

The latest piece iin O'Neill's masterplan is young Nigel Reo-Coker, signed from West Ham this past week for about 8 million pounds. Reo-Coker is a 23 year old central midfielder and was captain of the England U-21's (he is no longer eligible for the 21's). At such an early stage in his career, Nigel managed 120 caps in 3 years at Upton Park and was club captain for most his time there. He was also captain at Wimbledon before coming to West Ham. Hmm something tells me this boy has great leadership abilities. Detractors will say that he didn't perform like a captain this season and didn't have his heart in it. With the circus that is West Ham--changing managers, changing owners, Tevez and Mascherano, court hearings and oh yea playing for a shit team that avoided relegation by the skin of their teeth--can you blame him for having an off season? Change of scenery, change of fans more importantly, and playing under O'Neill should do wonders for him.

Reo-Coker joins a team boasting some of the best young English talents in Ashley Young, Gabby Agbonlahor, Luke Moore, Liam Ridgewell and Gary Cahill. Villa also have some real studs like captain Gareth Barry (aka the best left foot England has), vice-captain and defensive stalwart Olof Mellberg (I like to call him Castaway), midfield maestro Stiliyan Petrov, and Norwegian hitman John Carew.

Speaking of Carew, Martin O'Neill deserves a great deal of credit for making the deal to get this guy. I mean it's a feat in and of itself to find a team that actually wants Milan Baros (suckers), but to do that AND get John Carew in exchange? Wow, just might be the best transfer of the past season if they can persuade Carew to stay.

With a couple more signings possibly on the way (Jason Koumas or Nigel de Jong maybe, who I really like) and strong squad already, mark my words, Villa will improve upon their 11th place finish last year and qualify for Europe. Prediction: 6th place.

On Horseface and Hulk...

2007-07-08T13:59:00.000-04:00

If I'm Sheffield United, I'm pissed the fuck off.

Moving on, in a previous post I said that I didn't think Tevez was that good. I didn't really mean that, I was just turned off by the price tag and the messy ownership problems (I still am). He's been playing well in the Copa America and if you play consistently well on the international stage in a big tournament then you probably are legit. And I trust Ferguson/Queiroz's judgment.

All this talk of Tevez being another Rooney and our need for a target man is seriously fucking retarded. We had a target man and his name was Ruud and he was a damn good horse-faced target man. But we sold him. And then we went on to win the league. We sold Ruud because he was sticking out like a sore thumb with his inability to do anything other than finish and poach goals in and around the 6 yard box (I know, I know, he was really good at it but you're missing the point). There was a clear improvement w/o Ruud, more slick and free-flowing football that wasn't just more pleasing to the eye but more of a nightmare to opposing defenses. Tevez is in the same mould as Ronaldo, Rooney, Nani, and Anderson in that he is a more well-rounded attacking player. And 7 goals in 10 games shows he can be a prolific scorer, too. So there.

This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse (SI Style)

2007-06-25T17:11:00.000-04:00

Nope, that is not photoshopped. Beckham and Reggie Bush will be in a new commercial where they swap sports. Credit to Bob from The Offside.

So Benny Feilhaber Is Pretty Good, Eh?

2007-06-25T01:20:00.000-04:00

Just finished watching the USA-Mexico Gold Cup Final and I've got some musings...

About 10-15 minutes before Feilhaber's winner there was a searing half-volley from just outside the box by a Mexican player who plays professionally in Greece (Castillo?) which prompted the color commentator to call it a "European" volley. And that got me thinking, WTF is a European volley? Does that mean it was a volley with such a high degree of technique and skill that only a player playing professionally in Europe could hit? Then I though of the quality of play in the MLS and decided the commentator had a point, albeit a bit poorly articulated. And then up steps Benny Feilhaber with a very well-taken dipping volley of the "European" variety as he plys his trade with Hamburg in Germany.

Point is the USMNT needs more guys like Feilhaber and less like Brian Ching. Ching's miss after rounding Sanchez was inexcusable and smacked of MLS quality finishing. Ignore the bombastic, attention-seeking comments of Alexei Lalas; the MLS is not on the same level as the English Premier League. They're more on a level somewhere between the Coca-Cola Championship (Div 2) and League One (Div 3). Look at the other standout performers on the day and throughout the tournament: Tim Howard, Carlos Bocanegra, Beasley, and Dempsey all playing in Europe. Sure Donovan plays in L.A. but that's only because he's pussy-whipped into not playing abroad where he belongs (I guess you can't blame him). Anyway I'm actually not really sure what my point is, I'm just frustrated at the gulf in class and technique between European-based guys like Feilhaber and born and bred MLS guys like Ching. It shouldn't be that way. I read an article today in World Soccer magazine about the extensive youth setup at Arsenal and Chelsea with players from all over including Cyprus, Mexico, Belgium, and more and couldn't help but notice that there weren't any Americans. I can't take watching MLS guys like Ching and Twellman up front anymore, for all their heart and effort they just aren't good enough. Freddy Adu should've gone to Europe, not D.C. United, and more Americans youngsters need to start developing their game in the superior youth academies across the pond. Then they can come back and better serve both (MLS) club and country.

Sidenote, Beasley does play in Europe and he had a miss that was even more embarassing than Ching's. So what gives? you ask. Well the explanation for that is Beasley just isn't that good, really. Ask Man City fans.

As Donovan tied Eric Wynalda for most international goals for USA, I realized that Donovan is only 24-25 and he's already beaten a record that took Wynalda a full career to tally up. Just an observation. Says a lot about the rapid improvement in US players over the years.

Twellman, though obviously lacking in quality when taken from the small ponds of the MLS to the international stage, has a helluva a lot of fight in him. From the second he came on as a sub he was flying around and harrying defenders, tracking back and flying in for tackles to help out the team whatever way he could. A great example of heart and determination that other USMNT guys should look to emulate.

Copa America squad selection debate: Bradley's decision to put out a stronger squad for the Gold Cup has been vindicated, regardless of what happens in Venezuela. Gold Cup victory means a Confederations Cup place and $1 million dollar reward. USMNT doesn't have a chance of winning the Copa America no matter what squad they bring. The most they can hope for is a respectable showing. That is still possible, and with young and unproven (read: hungry, chip on shoulder, underdog, underestimated, prematurely written off...) squad maybe Bradley is trying to recreate a USA Hockey at Lake Placid scenario. Do you believe in miracles??

And worse come to worse (Argentina have this guy, I don't know if you've heard of him, named Lionel Messi (1:18 is my favorite)? Yea, he's supposed to be pretty good) we can at least say we didn't have our strongest squad out there. Which is cop-out but whatever. We're the US, we do what we want! Well, at least that's the president's philosophy...

It's About That Time...

2007-06-22T20:31:00.000-04:00

...to actually post something, I haven't done that in a while. It's also about that time to address the recent transfer rumors that have been circling and address them in terms of validity and what I think about it (regardless of how valid it is). Considering the sheer massive volume of transfer rumors bandied about daily to fill the newspapers in lieu of actual match reports at this time of year, I'm just gonna deal with United transfer rumors.

Fab Quag: Ok first of all, this nickname needs to go. It may flow phonetically, but it has to be one of the most effeminate nicknames in all of football. And calling him Fabio isn't much better because then you just get the mental picture of the long-haired I Can't Believe It's Not Butter guy. So do you go with Quagliarella? That's a bit of a mouthful. So I guess it's Quag, but even that I'm not too keen on. Actually I think I got it, just call him Q. Like the gadget guy from James Bond, I've always liked that guy. Ok good so it's settled, now Q can play for United.

Now as for his chances of pulling on United red, I think its a 30% chance. Udinese just gained full ownership of Q in some bizarre blind auction thing that only Italian football would do so there goes the previously high probability that Q was gonna stay at Sampdoria. The reason I say 30% is because rarely do Italian players, especially young ones, come over to play in England. Especially when they have local big guns like Roma (who Q is a known admirer of) and Inter interested to sign them, too. It's also no accident that every member of the World Cup winning Italian side played in Serie A. Q knows this and doesn't want to jeopardize his already successful Azzuri career (he scored twice in his debut recently). Basically the 30% is the allure of playing for the English champs, alongside the likes of Ronaldo, Rooney, Giggs, etc. which can be pretty enticing. Plus there's also this.

And I don't trust anything that comes out of an agent's mouth, by the way, so until Q says it himself I won't believe it.

Eidur for Pique: No, no, no. No. NO. Former Chelsea affiliations aside, Gudjohnsen is 29 years old and wasn't very impressive this season at the Camp Nou (albeit with limited chances). Gerard Pique, on the other hand, had a very nice little season on loan at Zaragoza and is very bright young talent at only 20 years old. He's an intelligent defender and with Rio's lapses in concentration getting more and more frequent and costlier I could see him taking over for him very soon.

Berbatov: Would cost too much and I would feel bad raiding Spurs for their star player for a second year running. With Chelsea getting all these free transfers we're gonna become the new Chelski. Thanks, but no thanks.

Tevez: I really don't think he's that good and the ownership issue is too messy. And he looks like a monster, but not in a good way. So no.

Defoe: Nonsense.

Saviola: Always have been a fan but I think we're looking for someone with more size so I'll pass.

Huntelaar: Next van Nistelrooy. Which is exactly why we shouldn't get him.

Torres and Eto'o: Both would be big money, but both would be worth it in my opinion. United and Liverpool have both been heavily linked to each of them so you have to figure if one goes to Anfield then we can get the other one. Eto'o's (that looks weird) attitude worries me and Torres is younger and got good size and strength for the Prem so I'm partial to El Nino. But I guess I'd settle for Eto'o (kidding, kidding, I'd be ecstatic). Just don't like the idea of competing with Milan for his signature, we're gonna have to shell out the big bucks.

Wishlist:
1. Torres
2. Q
3. Eto'o
4. Don't bother buying

**Update: I'm surprised no one picked up on the real problem with the name Fab Quag before. Now he must be called Q.

Ok, So Bentley Isn't a Cunt...But The Others Still Are!

2007-06-12T22:34:00.000-04:00

After reading a nice little piece on 101GreatGoals by Arthur Antunes Coimbra I've decided to take back the cunt label I put on David Bentley in my previous post for pulling out of the U-21 Euro Championship. Some might disagree with this decision, pointing to the fact that James Milner played more games than Bentley this season and and is also vying for the senior England squad but he's still playing in the U-21 tournament. Well the point Bentley is trying to make is that maybe that isn't the best idea by Milner as he's been advised by senior players who tell him he'll "hit a wall" come October/November if he doesn't rest now.

I still think Bentley was irresponsible to pull out too late to allow Pearce to get a replacement, but he's not a cunt. Thierry Henry and Michael Owen, however, are still cunts. Especially Henry with his latest comments:

"At this moment, I am an Arsenal player and in the same situation as I was last year.

"Last season, people were announcing all over the place that I was leaving. Some people wrote that it would happen for sure but at the end of the day I stayed at Arsenal. It could be the same this year.

"I've not taken any decision and my name is not up on any departures board. If something happens, I will tell everybody."

He goes on to talk nonsense about how chairman David Dein leaving was a mistake, as if that sort of thing is any his business in the first place. Again, thinking he is the club, thinking he has jurisdiction over all that happens at Arsenal. I don't care how gifted a player is (and Henry realllly gifted), no player is worth the amount of trouble he's causing. He's even unsettling the future of Arsenal in budding superstar Cesc Fabregas with his antics. I can hear the Arsenal fans (sensible ones, at least) screaming all the way from North London "Just shut it and leave already!! (But leave Nicole behind!)"

Thierry Henry Is A Cunt...One Of Many...

2007-06-09T18:51:00.000-04:00

Hey Nicole, your husband is a cunt.

(She has absolutely nothing to do with this post, she's just nice to look at)

I already had read the article with some of the quotes from Henry from the Soccernet interview with Derek Rae, but now I just watched it on Soccernet and I just need to vent about this stupid cunt. Yea he is incredibly talented, but a cunt of an incredibly talented player nonetheless. The nerve, the $%*#%%@ nerve. He sits there and guffaws and blushes at the thought of Barcelona and AC Milan coveting him. Then he does that emphasized "at the moment" I'm an Arsenal player crap. I just wanna punch him in the face, and I'm a United fan! If I was an Arsenal fan I would be absolutely enraged with his actions. He really thinks he's bigger than the club, he won't say it because he's got slightly more sense than Cashley, but you can tell he thinks it. The way he just runs his mouth. And wtf is up with that "at the moment" crap. Wishy-washy is what it is. You either decide to stay at your club, no matter what happens over the summer with coaching or management changes, and you come out and say it or you say you want to leave (are you listening, Michael Owen?).Don't pull this coy I'm flattered by the attention nonsense. No fans deserve to be jerked around like that, even Gooners.

Staying on the topic of cunts, let's talk about young David Bentley, too. This little prick pulls out of England's U-21 squad for the Euro Championship because he wants to make a push for the senior squad. And you decide this now??!? I mean really you can't be serious. Again with the indecision. It's your peroogative to do what you feel is best for your career, however selfish it may be to put that above playing for your country when they need you (being one of the best players the U-21's have). Let's not even discuss the fact that the England manager himself said he should play the U-21 tournament AND HE PICKS THE SENIOR SQUAD.

All I'm saying is stop dicking around. Thierry Henry, Michael Owen, David Bentley, and all the other footballers who I have to assume are idiot savants as they can't do anything right except play football: STOP DICKING AROUND. Footballers have a lot free time to think about theses things; their futures, their careers, their aspirations. They don't do 9-5 and don't have bills to worry about and all that jazz like everyone else. They have enough money that they don't have to do anything themselves except wipe their own asses. So with that in mind is it really too much to ask Thierry Henry and Michael Owen to make a concrete decision about their future and stop jerking around their fans? Is it too much to ask David Bentley to make his selfish decision to pull out of the U-21 tournament in time for Stuart Pearce to call up a replacement? IS IT REALLY??

Ok I'm done. I know, I'm asking too much of these guys who have had smoke blown up their backside since before puberty. They are so out of touch with reality that they really think their behavior is acceptable because they've scored more goals than any Gunner, or they've got more competitive goals for England than anyone else, or they...oh wait a second David Bentley hasn't done shit to warrant such behavior. Ah but this is the trend with footballers these days, they just get worse and worse.

This Is Too Funny

2007-05-31T11:23:00.000-04:00

6 times

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Cristiano Gets Some New Playmates

2007-05-30T17:51:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I spent the weekend in DC for a wedding. I was planning to make a post yesterday until I accidentally played beer pong for 6 hours and passed out by 9 pm. But there's nothing like a United double signing to get the heart racing, and indeed wake the Trawler from it's week-long slumber.

So it's official, Manchester United have signed attacking midfielder Anderson from Porto F.C. and winger Nani from Sporting Lisbon. Anderson, a Brazil Under-17 international, is 19 and Portuguese international Nani is 20; they are both highly rated and were both linked with top sides throughout Europe. I'm a big fan of the youth, Nani (above in mid-goal celebration) is a left-winger and Anderson a creative midfielder so hopefully they can someday develop into worthy successors to Giggs and Scholesy.

I know that we've been heavily linked to Nani recently, but the added bonus of Anderson is a pleasant surprise. Any 19 year old who's earned a starting spot after just one year with the Portuguese champs can't be half-bad. I like the Portuguese-speaking flavor added to the squad, can't hurt in helping to keep Ronaldo happy. I've been trolling Youtube for the past half-hour for videos of these two guys and they look pretty talented but of course the level of competition in the EPL far more challenging than the Portuguese league and Youtube highlight compilations can be notoriously misleading. That there is actually a Kleberson highlight reel out there proves this.

One more thing, I know Nani is the more well-known of the two signings but there is one video of Anderson that caught my eye. I hate when people say so-and-so is the next Zidane or the next Ronaldinho (like this video does), especially at such a tender age, but in this case the similarities are definitely there. Like Ronaldinho, Anderson is a Porto Alegre native and started his career at Gremio. He's also got the requisite abundance of speed and creativity, able to shoot with both feet, and gleefully skipping past defenders seems to be a favored pastime of his. Plus he's got wacky hair like Ronaldinho and there's an absurd move he does at the end of the video that is just like one Ronaldinho pulled off at Gremio. I know, I know, it's pretty foolish to try and predict the next Best Player In The World, but I'm just saying...

Champions League Final: Running Diary

2007-05-23T19:21:00.000-04:00

Taking a page out of the Bill Simmon's playbook with a running diary of the 2007 Champions League final between AC Milan and Liverpool FC:

Pre-game: Can't help but think as I watch Jermaine Pennant waving at the crowd like a fool during the Champions League anthem that there's just something not right about Pennant being a part of a UCL final. Now watch, the drunk-driving little twerp will pop up with the winning goal.

6th minute: Danny Agger does his best snarling dog impression against the snarling dog himself, Rino Gattuso, with a solid tackle. Definitely one of the best signings this season, talk about value for money.

10th minute: Wow, Pennant almost makes good on my little pre-game prediction. Pennant steals the ball outside the Milan box, does a one-two with Gerrard and hits a hard low shot to the far post forcing a great save out of Dida. I choked on my chocolate milk, just a little bit.

15th minute: This week's sign of the apocalypse: A plug for the Indy 500 just came up during the UCL final. That's like plugging a Starbucks poetry slam over the loudspeaker at a Texas rodeo. Just not the right audience.

23rd minute: My father bemoans the decision by Gerrard to go for the volley instead of laying off to the trail man. Forgive him he isn't aware of the immense power the lies within Gerrard's right foot with the ball sitting up for him like that. He also just asked if Gerrard is Argentinian...moving on...

24th minute: Hey, Javier Mascherano is pretty good, eh? Woudn't you say, Alan Pardew/Curbishley?

27th minute: 2nd sign of the apocalypse - Tommy Smyth: "Pennant is running them (Milan) ragged on the right side"....oh god..

35th minute: Another good scoring chance started by Pennant, Jankulovksi is looking absolutely dreadful tonight.

38th minute: Pennant just stuck in for not one, but two strong tackles..this is just fascinating..IS THIS THE FUCKING TWILIGHT ZONE? WHERE IS HIS ANKLE TRACKING DEVICE? WHEN DID HE GET OFF PROBATION?

40th minute: Gattuso gets a yellow card, yawn. The over-under on when he would get card (because him getting one was never a question) would've been 30th minute, I'd guess. And I would've gone under, obviously underestimating his level of restraint. Sorry, Rino.

44th minute: Against the run of play, just before half-time, Milan wins a free-kick (Kaka went down too easy for me) outside the box. Pirlo's free-kick is deflected off of Inzaghi, King of in the right place at the right time goals, and into the back of the net. Milan 1 - Liverpool 0.
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Half-Time Verdict: The Athenian air is thick with controversy. Stevie Nichol, half-time pundit and Liverpool backer, says that if the ball goes off your arm and into the net--intentional contact or not--it's not a goal. And I must concur. FIFA is kind of ambiguous about this issue but I must concur with Nichol.

Liverpool are the better team so far and I actually feel bad for the Scousers, brutally unfair end to the half. I'm expecting Liverpool to come out with more of the same led by the talismanic Jermaine Pennant (wtf?!?!) and eventually break through with an equalizer, then who knows.
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Start of 2nd half: Those guys drumming the boys back on the pitch are outrageously lame.

58th minute: Kewell comes on for Zenden, finally. (wow never thought I'd say that, looks like we're still in the twlight zone)

62nd minute: "He gets away from Nesta, how often can you say that"--GOLDEN opportunity for Gerrard clear on goal, should've done better. 'Nuff said.

70th minute: Milan are doing the Italian thing. Content to sit back put 9 men behind the ball before punting the ball back to Reina. Inzaghi is stranded on a faraway island of In Front of the Halfway Line. Negative football and I don't like it, almost makes me want to root for Liverpool. Almost.

74th minute: Derek Rae points out that Jemaine Pennant has not been as effective here in the second half. All is right with the world. Also good news, Milan are opening up a bit more which makes it easier for me to root for them.

77-79th minute: "A gangly handful he is"--Peter Crouch comes on for Mascherano. Took you long enough, Rafa. Kaladze comes on for Jankulovski, that should put to bed any possibility of a Pennant resurgance.

82nd minute: Despite Sir Fergie's assertion that Inzaghi was born offside, he is in fact also the King of beating the offside trap. And he does it to perfection before coolly slotting under the on-rushing Reina. Slipping away for Liverpool...

84th minute: Inzaghi may be a Milan folk-hero but he's still a wanker. He blocks a Kewell cross with his midsection, seems ok at first, then in true Italian wanker-dom realizes the opportunity to waste time and hits the ground rolling around in "pain" from the blow he took. Kewell tries to help him up and get on with it while resisting the temptation to give put him in real pain.

88th minute: Istanbul flashbacks. Kuyt scores off a corner, it's not over yet.

91st minute: Foul called against Crouch on a 50-50 aerial challenge. Wasn't a foul. Poor guy get's penalized all the time just because he's a giant.

Full-time: Referee blows the whistle a bit early using 2:44 of the alotted 3 minutes stoppage time as Rafa is shown furiously pointing to his watch amidst Milan celebrations.
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Final Verdict: Liverpool can feel a bit hard-done by some decisions and bad luck but what it comes down to is execution vs. lack therof. The point is that you shouldn't let the game be decided by referee's decisions or any other outside forces, you decide it yourself. Say what you want about Inzaghi, he's not my favorite guy either, but he had his chance one-on-one vs the keeper and took it well to put the game beyond Liverpool's reach. Gerrard will surely look back on the 62nd minute chance with only Dida to beat and think that was THE opportunity to bring it level. Hmm wonder if Sammy Eto'o would've put that away...let the transfer rumors flow. And Sir, let the wine flow, too.

Champions League Prediction (Premonition?)

2007-05-23T13:44:00.000-04:00

Ok so I was about to finish up on a post that had nothing to do with the final today and then I looked at the time and saw it's about an hour or so til' kick-off. I realized it probably wouldn't have been good form to blatantly ignore such an occasion.

So anyway, I think Liverpool will win.

'But whaaa?' is probably what your saying. Yea I know I'm a United fan, but I never said I was rooting for Liverpool. I just said they're gonna win. I do want Milan to win. For one, I think they are out and out a better team and much more fun to watch. I also want to see Seedorf lift his 4th Champions League trophy because he's just a class act and that would be cool. I also like rooting for the team that knocks your team out a tournament because then you can at least say "Well, at least we were beaten by the eventual champions." Otherwise you have to deal with degrees of seperation and Liverpool fans claiming to be two levels better than United because they beat Milian who beat Uni--it's just a big fucking mess.

And I also think that Liverpool should not be rewarded for their squad rotation system that sacrificed the league for Europe. Any respectable Liverpool fan knows the phrase "The league is our bread and butter" and Benitez has thrown that tradition out the window (but you kind of can't blame him when the Reds haven't won the league in 17 years, it's basically our bread and butter these days). In contrast, Milan only started playing for the Champions League when they got off to a slow start after already being deducted points to start the season.

So why do I think Liverpool is gonna win again? Oh right, I had a dream about it. It was a bizarre dream that was very hazy--either from the whiskey sour shots I took in the dream or it was just one those hazy dreams y'know--but I do distinctly remember Stevie G lifting the trophy once again, this time in Athens. That being said, I still hope Sir can open up that bottle of wine when all is said and done. And the latest news that Rafa is NOT PLANNING TO MAN-MARK KAKA also gives me hope that my dream (nightmare?) is not a premonition after all.

But here's the thing, when Milan have the choice of wearing their black and red or wearing their white away jerseys and they choose white despite the fact that Liverpool has never lost a European Cup final in red against a team in white...see that's foolishly tempting the football gods and then you're just asking for it.

Top 20 Champions League Goals Ever

2007-05-22T14:58:00.000-04:00

20-6 and 5-1

I spotted this on The Offside's homepage who got it from a 101 Great Goal's post

"The goal at Sparta Prague by Thierry Henry just shows what a poor player he is, y'know, no left foot"

On that Bergkamp-Ljunberg goal: "The build-up, Bergkamp's juggling when surrounded by defenders, turning, twisting--I mean his feet are moving, you have to watch it in slow-motion--It's like Van Basten on speed"

Patrick Barclay you cheeky man. He is my new (only?) favorite football pundit. And as usual, Andy Townsend is a wanker in this.

By the by, hats off to Mikael Nilsson for getting not one, but two goals on the list.

Paul McCarthy on the #1 goal: "It's one of the those moments when you stop, you look, you think 'Have I really seen that?'and then you see it on the replay and you think 'privilege'"

Just about sums it up, I think. Though it's not #1, Ronaldinho's goal at the Bridge is my personal favorite. And Smudge's "i'm baaaackk" goal vs Roma got all the way up to #6!

I'll do an original post later tonight just haven't decided what yet. Cheers.

Owen Hargreaves: The Anti-Transfer Saga

2007-05-21T03:21:00.000-04:00

The media reports in Germany were confirmed by club president Franz Beckenbauer when he said four simple words: Owen Hargreaves will go. It seems as if Manchester United and Bayern Munich have finally agreed upon a price and as a United fan I’m thrilled about adding a true ball-winner in Hargreaves to our midfield ranks, but this isn’t exactly a surprise development. Everyone knew he would move to Old Trafford this summer it was just a matter of when, and in that way this is a surprise. With the ridiculous transfer saga of Cashley Cole and William Gallas between Arsenal and Chelsea that dragged on all last summer still fresh in all of our minds, I’m sure everyone dreaded (and expected) a similar drawn-out tug of war over Hargreaves.

This has, however, been averted thanks to a certain degree of professionalism and respect exhibited by both parties that is sadly lacking in the front offices of Chelsea, in particular the sniveling chief executive, Peter Kenyon. Yes, the same Peter Kenyon that sickeningly refers to Chelsea as a “brand” and said today that it would’ve been “unjust” if Chelsea only won the Carling Cup this year. And yes, this is the same Peter Kenyon who on more than one occasion professed to be a life-long United supporter before leaving Old Trafford to join Chelsea once Abramovich’s millions came calling. Not that we miss him in the least.

Sorry I’ve been posting on only United news thus far, very myopic of me and I apologize. I think I’ll do a La Liga post next or even mix it up with a music post, who knows. Cheers.

2007 FA Cup Final: Chelsea 1-Manchester Utd 0

2007-05-20T17:44:00.000-04:00

So the 2007 English domestic season is officially done and dusted. All that's left is the Champions League final in a little less than a week and then we'll have to make do with transfer rumors and atrociously boring MLS action to get by.

For the first FA Cup final at the new Wembley it was a letdown and not just because I'm a United fan. The first half was horrendous as was the state of the pitch. Ryan Giggs once said he never like playing at the old Wembley because the pitch was so poor. $575 million dollars later and some things just never change. The second half was improved from both sides and Rooney was in sparkling form, his mesmerizing run from box to box probably the most breathtaking. Anyway blahblahblah you guys can read the match report anywhere you want. Let's get down to the talking points:

The Giggs incident. Let's be frank, Giggs should've done better. Regardless of Essien's challenge, which I don't believe warranted a penalty, Rooney put the ball at his feet and he had the entire goal at his mercy from less than 6 yards out. And all he could do was scuff a shot into Cech's body. And no it wasn't a goal just because it crossed the line, it wasn't a goal because Giggs pushed Cech over the line after he had saved his weak effort. Moving on.

For me one of the most overlooked moments of the game was Ronaldo's chance in the 87th minute. Scholes releases him on the right edge of the box with a lovely chipped pass, Ronaldo does a stepover, cuts inside and INSTEAD of passing to the completely unmarked Ryan Giggs in the center of the penalty box just outside the 6-yard he goes for an outrageous near-post shot against Petr-fucking-Cech. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Kaka is the best player in the world. Ronaldo is only 22 to Kaka's 25, so you hope that in the future he'll do the right thing and keep his head up and pass the ball like Kaka probably would've done in that situation. Good news is Ronaldo will probably be World POY within the next few years.

When it comes down to it neither side deserved to win or lose, it was a cagey match from start to finish with momentum swinging both ways (if at all). The game was up for grabs and Chelsea snatched it with a fine goal (hate to say it but it was a superb return ball from Fat Frank) when the United defense was probably caught napping a bit. Enough of the Mourinho impersonations, whining about fatigue, disallowed goals, and penalties that weren't given. United had their chances and didn't capitalize, Chelsea did.

Yes, it's a tough loss to swallow--being the first one at the new Wembley and all--but I think I'll wash it down with some champagne I've got left over from when we won the league...cheers.

..It's because ze sink sardines will be srown into the sea

2007-05-20T07:23:00.000-04:00

Seeing as how the title of this blog is the first part of one of the most legendary quotations in football history, I figured I'd title the first post as the remaining end of the quote by Manchester United icon Eric Cantona (complete with french accent spelling). As some (many? I have no idea the general football knowledge of my readership or whether I have a readership to begin with) of you may know King Cantona said this at a press conference after recieving his near-year long ban from Premiership football for "kung-fu" kicking a Crystal Palace supporter.

So if you haven't guessed it, yes, I am indeed a Manchester United fan, through and through. But apart from my allegiances, I am an unabashed football freak. Some might call the beautiful game soccer but I will only call it football on this blog as it is actually played primarily with one's feet and is an older sport than American football (and I'm a NY Giants fan from Long Island, no less, so this is not coming from a Eurosnob place). Moving on...I wouldn't say I have the most extensive football knowledge and being on 20 years old I definitely don't have as much of a sense of history as others (I was 8 years old when Cantona uttered those famous words, wasn't even born yet when Sir Alex took over at Old Trafford) but I do have a fierce and undying passion and respect for the game and that is one thing that no one can ever question.

I hope this blog can be a haven, a forum, and an all-around informative site for my fellow football fanatics around the world (especially all my fellow United fans!). I also hope that this blog can help put to the bed the notion that Americans (yes, I was born and raised in Long Island and only discovered the beautiful game around 9-10 years old) don't know what they're talking about when it comes to footie.

Yea high hopes, right? Truthfully, acquiring any readership (as in at least one person) would be nice but I really just made this thing so I could get my constant thoughts and opinions on football out of my head when I don't have my buddies around to tell them to. So that's all for now, being a United fan I'll obviously have some thoughts on the FA Cup Final which I'll post tommorrow as I'm home from college now and have nothing better to do. Cheers.